


From the Stars, With Love

by Boldlynyooming (arka_r)



Category: Star Trek Online
Genre: Captivity, Fade to Black, M/M, Romulans, Strangers to Lovers, Tal Shiar, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22893151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arka_r/pseuds/Boldlynyooming
Summary: When investigating a Romulan facility at an icy planet, Xarvar Tervatex was captured by the Tal Shiar. He met with a Romulan refugee named Vinaek, who seems to have a very bleak view of the universe.
Relationships: Vinaek/Xarvar Tervatex
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

When Xarvar came to his senses, the first thing he felt was the biting cold, gnawing at his bones like a persistent  _ targ _ . The cold seeped underneath his skin, making him feel like he would never feel warm again. Quite impressive, considering that he was born and raised on the icy tundras of Nibellum X.

He opened his eyes and gathered his surroundings. He was in some dark narrow cave. The rocks around were him too smooth to be natural. Thick steel bars prevented him from going out, telltale of frost could be seen on its surface. The bars had to be freezing cold and Xarvar made a mental note not to touch it, lest he lost a part of his skin.

Across his cell was an empty cell, with green panel blinking on the outside wall. The text on the screen was obviously Romulan, he recognized.

This had to be another base of the Tal Shiar, then.

A hiss of a door opening and closing, followed by some muffled cries, made him turn towards the door. A rather bulky Tal Shiar subcommander walked in, dragging another Romulan with him. A Romulan Republic member, perhaps? Though their clothes looked like they were civilian instead of a Republic member.

“Now you stay here, you terrorist scum!” the Tal Shiar subcommander said as he shoved the Romulan into the empty cell across Xarvar’s and closed the bars. “And look, I even gave you a friend for you to suffer together. Xarvar Tervatex of the  _ Federation _ ”, he spat, turning his attention to Xarvar. “Finally, you’re awake.”

“Unfortunately.” Xarvar crossed his arms and gave the goon the most unimpressive stare.

“You have guts, Tervatex, I give you that. But your crew and your Federation allies will never be able to find you here”, the subcommander grinned wide and wicked.

“We’ll see about that”, he returned, tilting his head in a challenging way.

The subcommander sneered before stomping away, clearly disgruntled that the threats didn’t seem to affect him. Honestly, Xarvar would've felt more threatened if his threats were not so basic textbook villain speech, nothing that he never heard before. The Romulan, though, looked like they had frozen from fear and cold. Xarvar didn’t blame them; they dressed like a refugee, which didn’t seem to hold against the weather. 

Thankfully, Xarvar still had his uniform, although he couldn't find his combadge — naturally, since he could use it to contact his crew. People who captured him had to have it removed or destroyed when he blacked out. The same probably also happened to his tricorder and science kits. 

_ It’s fine _ , he thought, trying to cheer himself up. His crew would find him eventually. After all, he still had his luck with him. 

But first and foremost, he wouldn’t let himself sit idly by until his crew came to rescue him. He had to break out first. It would be difficult without his science kits or tricorder, but he was positive a chance to escape would present itself sooner or later.

Right now, he needed to focus his attention back to his new ‘friend’. 

The Romulan captive was curling in a fetal position. Xarvar was worried if they were injured or hurt — it would be hard for them to recuperate while also fighting the cold freezing air. It would also make escape impossible, when it came to that.

“What”, the Romulan suddenly said, their voice like acid. “Never seen a Romulan being hurt by another Romulan?”

“I did. Several times, in fact”, Xarvar replied with a frown. Throughout the years, he had seen how people from all over the galaxy had the capability to hurt their own — but nothing compared against what the Tal Shiar had been doing to their own people.

Though Xarvar liked to think that he was a reasonable man, he  _ loathed _ the Tal Shiar with all his guts. Their empress was a cruel and prideful tyrant. She didn’t care who she hurt under her rule, and her attack dogs were no different. The Tal Shiar would even hurt her own people, experimented on them like their lives were worthless. Those who went against them, they would destroy with all their might.

The Romulan was quiet, so Xarvar asked, “Are you with the Republic?”

The Romulan shook their head. “They tried to recruit me once, after my colony was destroyed. I refused.” The Romulan then added weakly. “I don’t know why the Tal Shiar thought I’m with the Republic. I just want to be left alone…”

Xarvar knew enough about Romulan politics to know that the Tal Shiar didn’t care if you were with the Republic or not; as long as you were not a part of the Romulan Star Empire, then you were an enemy.

“Which colony?” he asked instead.

The Romulan eyed him cautiously, before answering quietly, “Virinat.”

_ Oh _ . “My condolences”, Xarvar told them. He was assigned to investigate Virinat two days ago. There was nothing but bugs and dusts there. It was hard to imagine it as a prosperous colony before the invasion forces hit.

Something seemed to flicker in the Romulan’s eyes — those eyes were so expressive, so unlike their distant relatives who still remained on their ancestral land on Vulcan. The Vulcans barricaded their emotions behind logic, but the Romulans were different, he found. The look was gone before he could decipher it, and the Romulan turned their back to him, huddling onto themself for warmth.

Well, that was that. 

With nothing to do, Xarvar closed his eyes and decided to meditate.

— 

Time seemed to crawl in the prison. For a long time — around ten hours, according to his internal clock — no one came to check (or gloat) and Xarvar was absolutely fine with that. However, this also meant that no one came to deliver food, and his throat was starting to get dry and his stomach rumbled. He tried to conserve his energy by meditating, which seemed to work. 

_ For now _ .

Once or twice, he felt the Romulan’s eyes on him as he meditated. The Romulan said nothing, though, so Xarvar didn’t say anything either. The Romulans were rather well known for their penchant for secrecy, no matter which side they were on, and he didn’t want to annoy his fellow prisoner by asking intrusive questions.

Roughly three hours later, the prison gate opened with loud clanking noises. Xarvar opened his eyes and was face-to-face with none other than Commander Hakeev himself. 

“Hello, Commander Tervatex. Very nice to see you again”, Hakeev greeted mockingly.

“Come on, Hakeev. I’ve been Captain for a year.” Xarvar found himself smiling, out of spite. “You have to know that, unless the Tal Shiar intel is that terrible.”

Hakeev sneered. “You won’t be as bold once I am through with you,  _ Captain _ .”

Hakeev then ordered the goons to take him into another room—an interrogation chamber, and Xarvar braced for the worst. Hakeev wanted him alive for whatever reason, likely information about Starfleet and the Federation, so all Xarvar had to do was to stay alive and keep quiet until help arrived or he escaped.

Several painful moments later on the torture table, Xarvar lost track of time, and he was panting hard from the pain radiating from every cell of his being. This torture method was surprisingly tame for the Tal Shiar, and Xarvar feared that it would only get worse.

“So, what is your answer?” Hakeev asked, cupping Xarvar's chin with false gentleness.

“Captain… Xarvar Tervatex… Starfleet Identification Code two-eight-six… nine-eight-nine-four…” Xarvar managed to rasp out through the haze clouding his mind.

“You are not easily broken, Tervatex, I give you that”, Hakeev hissed, walking to the console and increasing the pain level. Xarvar managed not to scream for full five seconds, before giving in to the white blinding pain.

It repeated like that for several times; Hakeev asking for any classified information, and Xarvar gave him his name and identification code. Hakeev would then stomp in rage and increased the pain level.

It hurt. It hurt so much that there were times when Xarvar considered to give in, to give whatever Hakeev wanted to know. But it passed when he thought about the countless of lives within the Federation, and how it was his duty to protect them, even if it would be the last thing he’d done.

It seemed like forever passed until he was returned to his cell.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Xarvar recovered enough from the torture session, he gathered the information he gained from the time he was out of his cell.

The base had to be a smallish one, with skeleton crew running it. It had to be an outpost of some sort, probably located in an asteroid or a moon somewhere obscure, somewhere the Federation would never bother to look. Like any other Tal Shiar bases, this one had to house some secrets, something that would possibly benefit the Federation, if Xarvar could only get it.

There were two  _ uhlan _ guarding the prison area, each one was weaponized with a standard Tal Shiar disruptor. They didn’t look particularly intimidating, but Xarvar might be a little bit biased. He had faced down scarier opponents, after all, like the Devidians and the Borg, for example.

Actually, the Devidians and the Borg were the scariest and the creepiest opponent he had faced down. The Tal Shiar goons assigned to a remote outpost were nothing compared to them.

Going twenty hours without food or water, Xarvar planned his escape. There wasn’t much to plan, so he might have to wing it whenever a chance to escape presented itself. But he knew that he had to be able to give the outpost’s location to his crew, if he wanted to escape the moon. That, and he possibly needed to survive outside the outpost, so some kind of an environmental suit would be great. For now, all he could do was conserve his energy through meditation.

Then, the goons took the Romulan captive away.

The Romulan kicked, screamed, begged, and cried, but the Tal Shiar goons might as well were made out of stone with their lack of response. Xarvar could still hear their voice through the cave walls and there was a small part of him that feared for the Romulan's wellbeing. They wouldn't be able to hold off whatever torture the Tal Shiar had for them.

He didn’t rest or meditate until the Romulan was returned to their cell, limp but still alive. If they were dead, the Tal Shiar wouldn't bother with returning their body to the cell.

“Hey”, Xarvar called. Only now he realized that he didn't know the Romulan's name. “Hey, are you alright?”

The Romulan stirred slightly and Xarvar could see their eyes glaring at him.  _ Yeah _ , in hindsight, his question was stupid.

“Leave me alone”, the Romulan croaked out. Their silver hair fell to their face, which made them look even more frail. “I don’t want the Tal Shiar think we’re acquaintances.”

“They already think you’re a Romulan Republic member, befriending a Federation captain won’t change their opinion about you”, Xarvar pointed out. “I just want to know if you’re fit enough to escape, once the chance presents itself.”

The Romulan was quiet, before averting their eyes.

“Just… leave me alone”, they said. “I don’t need your help.”

It seemed that the Tal Shiar had broken whatever resolve the Romulan had, and it was… sad. Xarvar closed his mouth with a click, pity bubbling in his chest.

He decided to leave the Romulan alone.

—

At the thirtieth hour, the goons took Xarvar again to the interrogation chamber. Xarvar felt his stomach twist at the prospect of pain, but he steeled his resolve and swallowed his fear.

After strapping him on the torture table, one of the technicians put some kind of device on his head. Xarvar wondered if it was some kind of a mind-reading device, so he shut his eyes and focused his mind onto something that wasn’t related to the Federation or Starfleet.

But it wasn’t a mind-reading device.  _ Of course _ . How very  _ fortunate _ of him.

No, instead it was yet another nasty device created by the Tal Shiar to torture and hurt people. When the goon turned it on, it felt as if his skull was being split open. It barely made Xarvar wish that it was a mind-reading device. Only  _ barely _ .

“C-Captain… Xarvar… Tervatex… Starfleet Identification Code… two-eight-six… nine-eight-nine-four”, he managed to slur out once the device was turned off. Bile rose in his chest as his head pounded, and his vision seemed to blur.

The device was turned on once again and the pain began anew.

He wanted it to stop. He  _ wished _ it to stop; the pain, the torture. He wanted to curl into a ball and pretend that it was all simply a nightmare. That he was aboard the Jelavax, safe and sound, and he would resume his duty like always.

But the pain still continued. It hurt. It hurt so much.

“You know what I want, Tervatex”, he could hear Hakeev said. “Give in, and the pain will stop.”

Oh that was a tempting offer, and Xarvar was very much  _ tempted _ . He wanted to give in, he really wanted to give in. And yet, he couldn’t. He  _ couldn’t _ .

“Captain… Xarvar… Tervatex… Starfleet… Identification Code… two-eight-six… nine-eight… nine-four”, Xarvar sobbed out.

Like an answer to his disobedience, the pain increased.

He would die here, would he? He would die alone and miserable the whole time through. At the very least, death would be a relief from all the pain and torture. It would be a mercy. One would call it lucky.

Yet at the corner of his mind, he thought that the prospect of dying on the Tal Shiar torture table at such young age was not particularly appealing to him.

“C-Captain… X-Xarvar… T-Tervatex… Starfleet… Idne— Idenfa—  _ fuck _ ”, he cussed through his gritted teeth. “ _ Valma balas! _ ”

“Such dirty mouth,  _ Captain _ ”, Hakeev tutted. “Did you kiss the Federation’s boot with that mouth?”

The pain increased yet again.

—

He didn’t know how long the torture lasted — his internal clock was all messed up. When it was finally over, the goons dumped him back into his cell and shut the bars as they left.

Immediately, he curled into himself and gently pressed his head against the cave wall. The biting cold of the rocks soothed his aching head like… like whatever it was that soothed his aching head. It was… nice.

“Hey”, a voice called out to him. “Hey, answer me. Are you conscious?”

“ _ Koh _ ”, Xarvar mumbled weakly.

“I— I don’t speak whatever language that is ”, the Romulan — it had to be none other than the Romulan captive — said. “ _ Dochai-difv Rihan hwi? _ ”  _ Can you speak Romulan? _

“ _ Ie _ ”, Xarvar answered. “ _ Rhanne dochai Rihan khiilalev. _ ” It was the truth. His Romulan was rather rusty.

“ _ Eihsu hwi? _ ” the Romulan asked.  _ Are you well? _ Xarvar couldn’t help but let out a weak snort. It seemed that the Romulan was returning his concern.

“ _ Dhat _ ”, Xarvar answered honestly. His head was still pounding and he was shaking like a Risian caracal cub, so yes, he was not well.

“ _ Dochai arvha _ ”, the Romulan said.  _ Speak to me _ , they said.

Well…

“I’m a starship captain, a science officer, and a diplomat”, Xarvar said, switching into English. He wasn’t confident enough with his Romulan language, and he’d rather not butcher it. “My ship is called U.S.S. Jelavax. I came here from the Alpha Quadrant, where I was assisting the Deferi and the Bajorans with their respective crises.”

“Oh”, was all the Romulan said. They were quiet for a moment, that Xarvar had thought they were finally done worrying over him. But when he turned slightly, he found their face laced with slight concern.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry”, Xarvar tried to reassure the Romulan. This was not the first time he was tortured and it likely wouldn’t be the last. It was bad, true, but he would manage.

The Romulan didn’t seem to be convinced.

Xarvar didn’t know what else to say, so he curled into himself and tried to enter meditative state.


	3. Chapter 3

Going forty hours without food and drink, Xarvar made up his mind.

The torture would only become worse, and so did the hunger and thirst. So, if he wanted to escape, it would be better if he did it while he still could. 

When the goons took him for another torture session, he waited until they took him out of his cell before striking. He smashed their skulls against the cave wall and swiped their access cards and disruptors. 

He used the card to open the Romulan captive’s cell and handed them a disruptor. The Romulan looked unsure, their eyes widening. 

“I… I don’t know how to use it”, they admitted, and Xarvar wanted to smack his own forehead.  _ Civilian _ .

“Just aim it to the other guy and shoot. You’ll be fine”, Xarvar told them. “Hurry.”

The two of them exited the prison area. The cold became more bearable here, but Xarvar knew that they had to get some kind of environmental suit or winter gear to handle the weather outside the base. It wouldn’t do for them to freeze to death before help even arrived. 

Xarvar shot the rest of the guards and prevented them from activating the alarm, while his fellow prisoner trailed behind. A quick rummage through the storage room gave them both food and winter gears. Xarvar found his combadge too, surprised that the Tal Shiar didn’t destroy them — but hey, it wasn’t like he was complaining. 

He chewed through a bar of rations while putting on the winter gears; his fellow prisoner did the same, all but shoving an entire bar into their mouth. The ration bar was gooey and nasty but it did quell the thirst and hunger. 

Xarvar fiddled with the combadge; a quick signal recalibration would turn it into a location beacon, one that his crew would be able to pick up as long as they were still in this side of the quadrant. Satisfied with his work, Xarvar turned back to his fellow prisoner, who was staring at him with an odd look on their face.

“You saved me”, they said, barely above whisper. “You didn’t— You shouldn’t have to… You should have left me to die. I have nothing to live for.”

“I can’t”, Xarvar replied, after a brief silence. 

“Why?” the Romulan asked. “Is it because of duty or some sort?”

_ Yes _ , Xarvar wanted to answer, but he paused to reconsider his answer.

“You showed me compassion when I needed it the most. I simply want to repay you”, he eventually said.

“You showed me compassion first”, the Romulan returned. “I— I had never have anyone done that. Not in a long, long time.”

Xarvar didn’t know how to answer that. There was silence hanging between the two of them. Xarvar finished eating and continued his search in the storage room.

“Vinaek”, the Romulan said all of a sudden.

“Pardon?” Xarvar asked, pulling his attention back to them.

“Vinaek”, the Romulan repeated. “That is my name. Or, one that I commonly use, at the very least.”

“Vinaek”, Xarvar echoed with a small smile on his lips. “Nice to finally know you, Vinaek.”

As they exited the storage room, disruptor blasts wheezed past them. Xarvar shoved Vinaek from harm’s way and returned the fire. He downed three Tal Shiar goons and drop-kicked another, picking up a rifle from the floor and shot the rest of the goons. The whole fight was over in ten seconds.

“Drop your weapon!”

Or not.

Xarvar turned and saw Hakeev putting the barrel of a disruptor to Vinaek’s temple, who struggled in Hakeev’s grasp.

“Why would I want to do that?” Xarvar asked just because, aiming at Hakeev’s head. But Hakeev simply charged the disruptor in his hand, not answering.

Xarvar ran through his options. He could ignore Hakeev’s threat, shoot him, and get rid of the leader of the Tal Shiar, saving countless Romulan Republic members in the process at the cost of Vinaek’s life. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one — or so the Vulcans said.

But Xarvar was  _ not _ a Vulcan.

Vinaek told him that he had nothing to live for. But now, with a barrel of a gun pressed to their temple, the Romulan looked absolutely terrified, and Xarvar knew that he couldn’t leave them to die, another casualty of the Tal Shiar like countless others. Not like this. 

With a snarl, he dropped the rifle in his hands and immediately be restrained by Hakeev’s goons.

“That’s the problem with you Federation dogs. You care too much”, Hakeev taunted, a cruel smirk on his face. “And I think I now know how to break you.”

Hakeev and his goons dragged the two of them into the interrogation room and brought Vinaek, who still struggled with all their might, to the torture table. Something ugly wriggled inside Xarvar’s stomach and he turned to face Hakeev.

“No.”

Hakeev’s ugly smile widened. “Yes.”

Hakeev gently brushed over the panel, and Vinaek screamed out. It was heart-wrenching scream, increasing in intensity as the pain level increased, and Xarvar tried, he really tried to block out the scream, to enter meditative state. But that horrible sound was still there, Vinaek was still screaming, and Hakeev — Xarvar had never hated Hakeev more as he did in that moment — was still grinning. 

The Romulan turned their eyes towards him, those sad looking eyes staring at him pleadingly, and that was when Xarvar knew he had lost the battle.

“Alright, stop!” he shouted. Hakeev turned off the panel and turned to face him. “Ask your question and I will answer.” 

Xarvar knew he was biding his time, for help to arrive, for  _ anything _ to stop him from revealing classified information just so he could save a single life. Perhaps if he ran his mouth, Hakeev would get annoyed and decided to torture him instead. One could only hope. 

“How do I know if you are telling the truth?” Hakeev asked.

“You have my word as the Captain of the U.S.S. Jelavax, I cannot offer you anything else”, Xarvar replied.

“Hmm”, Hakeev rubbed his chin contemplatively. “Tell me about the Federation’s plan to fight against Tal Shiar.”

Straightforward as always.

“I don’t know”, Xarvar said.

“You  _ don’t  _ know?” Hakeev raised his eyebrows.

“I haven’t been on this side of the galaxy for over than a  _ year _ ”, Xarvar said. That as much was truth. “I have recently returned from Alpha Quadrant when I was given the order to check the moon. That’s when you and your goons ambushed me.”

Hakeev looked genuinely taken aback, which would be hilarious if Xarvar wasn’t being restrained and Vinaek’s life rested in his hands. That was until his face morphed into pure anger. “So you’re saying, you are no use to me?”

“Not entirely”, Xarvar replied quickly before Hakeev got a case of trigger finger. “I know from the beginning that the moon is a set-up, thanks to a tip from someone within your ranks.”

“Lies!” Hakeev snarled.

“I am not”, Xarvar lied. “You have a snitch on your side, Hakeev. Why do you think I let myself be caught so easily? I need some data from this base, so I figured that my only way in is to be caught by your goons.”

Hakeev’s face turned a darker shade of green, but before he could say anything else, the base shook. The Romulans who held Xarvar stumbled, and he used the chance to grab a pistol and shot Hakeev in the chest, knocking him off his feet but not harming him otherwise.  _ Personal shield _ , Xarvar thought, as he released Vinaek from their restraints.

“What was that”, Vinaek said shakily, stumbling as the base shook once again. Xarvar quickly helped them on their feet and guided them out of the interrogation room.

“With my luck, probably my crew”, he answered, occasionally shooting the panicked Tal Shiar goons.

“I can’t”, Vinaek shoved him weakly, their face was that of a broken person. “I can’t go with you. Just… leave me alone.”

They didn’t have time for this. 

“How about this. With the power given to me by the United Federation of Planets, I offer you asylum aboard my ship”, Xarvar said, pleading. “ _ Please _ . You don’t have to run or fight anymore.”

“I—” Vinaek hesitated, looking around at the chaos around them as if they were trying to escape from Xarvar. 

“You need to decide quickly. My crew could be here any second now.” Xarvar paused and shot the incoming Tal Shiar goons. His guess was correct when T’Ris, Artana’Zuma, along with a handful of security officers beamed into the base. Artana’Zuma and his security officers immediately built a barrier between them and the angry Tal Shiar, while T’Ris approached him and Vinaek.

“Good to see you, Sir”, T’Ris greeted. For an expressionless Vulcan, his Chief Medic looked absolutely relieved and disheveled at the same time. “Ready to beam up?”

“Good to see you too, Commander”, Xarvar returned the greeting, before turning to face Vinaek. “ _ Well? _ ”

Vinaek’s shoulders sagged, before he reached towards Xarvar’s arms.

“Commander Flores, seven to beam up!” T’Ris commed the ship. 

They left the base and into the safety of the Jelavax.


	4. Chapter 4

As it turned out, there were a lot of forms that both Xarvar and Vinaek had to sign. Lots and lots of forms. It was actually relatively easy to request asylum from the Federation, but the amount of the paperwork still made his head spin.

But finally, it was done and over with, and Vinaek officially became a part of the Jelavax’s passenger. They weren't the only passenger on board; there were roughly one hundred and seventy two non-combatants, both of the Federation and non-Federation, aboard the Jelavax. And now Vinaek was one of them.

They were good with their hands, as everyone soon found out, fixing things that people would never thought required fixing — like the dabo wheel at the recreation deck that always spun oddly. It made them rather popular with both crewmembers and passengers; and more than once, Xarvar caught himself staring at them.

Vinaek was… a fascinating person — and Xarvar found himself drawn towards them. When the Romulan was not out to fix something, they would fold themself into one corner of the lounge, usually accompanied by a PADD and a cup of  _ tarka _ . Several times Xarvar saw them, he was tempted to come over and talk.

The problem was, he didn’t know what to talk about. Their only shared experience was during their captivity, and Xarvar was positive the Romulan would not want to be reminded of  _ that _ . He was sure as hell he didn’t want to be reminded of it.

The admiralty decided that he had to be temporarily decommissioned. His time with the Tal Shiar could be compromising his ability to lead his ship, and Xarvar went into the recommended counseling sessions willingly. Besides, he could still live aboard the Jelavax, which he was grateful for. He didn’t think he would be recovering as well as if he had to stay grounded at some planet or starbase.

“How are you feeling today, Captain Tervatex?” Counselor Kelora asked as soon as Xarvar settled on the comfortable chair in front of her.

“Pretty well, considering”, Xarvar answered honestly. “I had another nightmare.”

“Of your captivity?” Counselor Kelora asked, linking her fingers together and putting them under her chin.

“That I did”, Xarvar answered. “I… It was different this time. This time, the Jelavax crew was there too. A-and everything went wrong, my luck… ran out, and Hakeev shot Vinaek on the head.”

“You care about the crew, so it is only logical that they are there in your nightmare”, Counselor Kelora said. “But that Romulan refugee, Vinaek is their name, isn’t it? Your dreams seem to feature him a lot.”

“They were tortured right in front of me”, Xarvar said as he let out a shaky sigh. “I can still hear their screaming.”

“Hmm”, Counselor Kelora hummed contemplatively, before continuing. “Perhaps it would be beneficial if you talk to Vinaek.”

“What? And be like, ‘Hey, want to talk about our captivity over tea and tarka?’” Xarvar snorted and crossed his arms. “I don’t think that’ll work well.”

“You wouldn’t know. Perhaps it would be beneficial for Vinaek too”, Counselor Kelora returned.

“They’re not meeting with you or Counselor P’thiv, are they?” Xarvar asked, curious.

“Not that I am aware of”, Counselor Kelora answered conspiratorially. “And if I am, I will not tell you this. Patient confidentiality, you see.”

Xarvar grinned. “Thank you, Counselor Kelora.”

“Talk to them, Captain. They probably need it either”, Counselor Kelora said, before the session ended.

— 

A week after, he was finally cleared for duty and took the captaincy of the Jelavax back.

He still hadn’t talked to Vinaek.

The thing was…  _ The thing was _ , he didn’t know how to talk to Vinaek. He was still positive that Vinaek would very much not want to be reminded of their time in the Tal Shiar base, even though  _ logically _ , he knew that both of them would benefit from a heart-to-heart conversation. They went through it together, and they got out of it together. Even simply acknowledging this fact would be beneficial for both of them.

He still had nightmares about Vinaek; Vinaek getting shot on the head by Hakeev, Vinaek dying on the torture table. Each one was worse from the last one, and Xarvar always woke up panting and sweating.

In fact, he just got another nightmare where Vinaek laid bloodied on the torture table. He quickly rushed to the bathroom and threw up his stomach content into the toilet bowl, panting and curling into himself afterward as he sobbed. After awhile, he decided that was enough sleep for the night and set off to the lounge, carrying a PADD with him as he did.

At least if he wasn’t getting anymore sleep, he might as well work on something.

Except his PADD had another idea. Suddenly, it decided that it was a good time to freeze. No matter what he did, he couldn’t make it work. He was about to leave and grab another PADD from his room, when a hand suddenly appeared in front of him.

“May I take a look?” Vinaek asked, but they might as well were speaking in gibberish. Xarvar was too surprised to be in their presence to notice what they were saying. It took him several awkward seconds before realizing that Vinaek was asking something. 

_ Right _ . Xarvar handed his PADD while struggling to put on a brave face. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with it. I was using it just this morning”, he told Vinaek, just as they forced the casing open with an ear-splitting crack. He felt his eye twitch. “Please be careful.”

“The motherboard is misaligned. It should be an easy fix”, Vinaek said, using their nail to poke the motherboard until it fell back into place with a click. They put the casing back on and handed the PADD back to Xarvar. “It’s common for this type of PADD to have misaligned parts inside.”

“Common? You use Federation-type PADD?” Xarvar couldn’t help but ask.

Vinaek rubbed the back of their had. “Before—” they paused, clearing their throat. “My fellow colonists used to import broken tech from the Federation in exchange to ship repairs. We fixed everything we could and salvaged the rest. PADDs, comm devices, tricorders.”

This was the first time Xarvar heard Vinaek speak about the life in their colony, and somewhat, he had a feeling that they didn’t talk about it much. Vinaek looked like every other Romulan refugees he’d met — a haunted soul, with their past dragging them back.

Not wanting to make things even more awkward, Xarvar checked the PADD and found that it was already functioning perfectly. He gave the ex-colonist a grateful smile. “It works. Thank you very much.”

Vinaek gave him a shy smile. “Not a problem, Captain”, they said, before walking away.

By the time Vinaek was gone, Xarvar realized with a surprise that he was supposed to talk to the Romulan.

  
_ Oh well _ … he thought. Perhaps another time.


	5. Chapter 5

When reports were filed and no other important assignments were given, Xarvar scheduled a shore leave on Earth Spacedock. He reasoned that the shore leave was a long overdue one since they returned from Alpha Quadrant, and not because he planned to get some time to talk to Vinaek — of course not.  _ How silly _ .

But of course, first, he had to ask them out first.

Xarvar agonized for days, making and discarding plans to to ask Vinaek out. This was such a ridiculous ordeal, considering that he’d faced more terrifying enemies in his life before. Borgs, Klingons, Cardassians, and even Evil Bajorans from another universe and the Devidians; he faced them all with bravery.

And yet, he couldn’t gather the courage to ask Vinaek out.

His nightmares had subsided, but only for a bit. Every time he dreamed about the torture, he also dreamed about Vinaek staring at him pleadingly, to make the torture to stop. He could never discern what the color of their eyes were, and why would it matter to him  _ anyway? _

In his dreams, he could never make the torture to stop.

Xarvar rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was currently reading reports from his department heads in his own quarter, and he barely could make a word of it. In his defense, it was pretty late and his day had been boring. There was no news about the Tal Shiar, so the Jelavax had been assigned to do supply runs for the last week. Nothing exciting, just delivering some provisions to Starbase 39-Sierra.

It was  _ so boring _ . He didn’t even see Ambassador Surah during his brief stay at the starbase, because said Ambassador was busy arranging trades with the Ferengi somewhere in the Alpha Quadrant.

And that was a whole can of worms he wasn’t willing to open yet, wasn’t it?

He knew, realistically, that it was impossible to pursue any kind of committed relationship with Ambassador Surah. The Ambassador was too dedicated to his own cause, and that was understandable, actually. The Deferi needed lots of aid from the Federation, aid that Xarvar is willing to give, and that… just made things even more complicated.

In the end their relationship was best described as ‘friends with benefits’ as the Humans would say. They would occasionally meet to fuck, to find reprive from their respective duties, then they would go their own separate ways.

It was better that way, really.

With a sigh, Xarvar turned off his computer and stood up. After stretching up a bit, he left his quarter and headed towards the lounge. He didn’t carry his PADD, fully intending to take a break from a night of reading. It would be a nice change for once.

He replicated himself a cup of iced  _ raktajino _ , before turning to find a place to sit.

That was when he bumped into someone, spilling cold  _ raktajino  _ all over himself.

“ _ Hnaev! Rekkhai _ — ack, I mean, Captain!” Vinaek cussed out in panic. Frantically, they unwound the scarf from around their neck and used it to pat the stained patch on Xarvar’s uniform.

“It’s alright—” Xarvar tried to reassure the panicking Romulan, but said Romulan was getting increasingly agitated.

“I’m so sorry, I am such a  _ veruul _ today”, Vinaek said, and while Xarvar didn’t recognize the word, he knew enough from Vinaek’s tone that it was supposed to be self-recriminating.

“It’s alright, really. It’s just a stain. At least it’s not blood stain”, Xarvar returned with a chuckle.

Vinaek blinked, their brows furrowed, and Xarvar was suddenly aware of his inability to crack joke.

“Here, let me just dispose of my uniform. Also, would you like me to do the same with your scarf?” Xarvar asked.

“Ah”, Vinaek said, blinking, before realizing that their scarf was stained too. “It’s, ah— It was handmade by my father, so I— I can’t—”

_ Oh _ . “Well, damn—” Xarvar muttered. Handmade items were rare these days, and Vinaek had just used his handmade scarf to wipe the stain off of his replicated uniform. Now Xarvar felt bad about bumping them.

“It’s alright, Captain. I know how to clean it. I just— Are you sure you don’t want me to clean your uniform too?” Vinaek asked.

“Pretty sure”, Xarvar answered. “It’s replicated, so I can just dump it into recycle chute, so don’t worry.”

“Well, if you say so…” Vinaek muttered. With cautious hands, they began to fold the stained scarf before tucking it under their armpit. “I better go clean it now before it leaves a stain.”

With that, they walked away, leaving Xarvar alone in the lounge.

Well, there went his chance to ask Vinaek out.

—

As the shore leave drew closer, Xarvar became increasingly aware that he needed to ask Vinaek out or his effort would be for nothing. However, he always froze before he could even approach Vinaek.

What if they rejected him? Or worse — what if they accepted out of obligation?

But whether he wanted it or not, another chance presented itself when the computer in his quarter suddenly refused to work — right after he assigned all of his engineers their duties for the day. Xarvar sighed and lamented about his good luck, before comming his second-in-command.

“Can you get Vinaek to my quarter, please? I need their assistance with something”, Xarvar told her, before trying to figure out what was happening to his computer.

Vinaek came when Xarvar was quite literally neck deep in codes, as he tried to figure out if the malfunction is in the software instead of the hardware. The Romulan refugee eyed him bafflingly, before they began to fiddle with their thumb.

“You wanted my assistance, Sir?” Vinaek asked.

“Yes,  _ please _ ”, Xarvar answered, pleading. “Can you help checking the hardware while I work on the software? I can’t figure out what’s going on here. Oh, and you can replicate whatever tool you need on the replicator over there.”

With that, the two of them began to work. Xarvar tried to find any bugs, viruses, or worms within the software, while Vinaek popped the computer casing open. They scratched their chin for a bit before meeting Xarvar in the eye.

“I cannot see what’s wrong without taking it apart. Do you mind to shut it down while I work?” Vinaek asked.

“Right, right. Of course”, Xarvar answered, before forcing to shut down the computer.

After replicating themself a set of tools, Vinaek began to work. They took apart the hardwares inside the computer, taking them off from the casing, before carefully scanning them one by one. They replaced a couple of old parts, repairing the broken ones, before putting the hardwares back together.

The whole thing was over in less than an hour.

“Try to turn it on now”, Vinaek said once he screwed the casing back shut.

Xarvar did as he was told.

It booted up like it usually did, but Xarvar couldn’t trust it yet, so he ran diagnostics to check if everything was up and running as intended. When he found that it did, he smiled satisfiedly and turned his attention back to Vinaek.

“Thank you for your assistance, Vinaek”, he told them.

“If that would be all, Sir, may I be excused?” Vinaek asked awkwardly, clearly unused to be so formal.

“Wait”, Xarvar called before Vinaek could walk away — and before he could regret his decision. “Do you have a plan for the shore leave?”

Vinaek’s eyebrows rose. “No, actually. Ah… I was planning to stay on the ship and read.”

“Come with me, then. I can show you around the Spacedock”, Xarvar said. “As a thank you, for what you did today.”

“Ah, you don’t have to, Captain—” Vinaek answered, pausing, hesitating.

“I want to, Vinaek”, Xarvar interrupted. “I won’t force you, obviously, so only accept if you want to. Otherwise, don’t feel obligated to fulfill my request.”

Vinaek was quiet for a moment, eyeing him as if weighing their options. Eventually, they gave him a slight nod. “I’d love to accompany you, Captain.”

“Alright. Meet me on the transporter room at nine tomorrow.” Xarvar couldn’t help but smile. “And please call me Xarvar while I’m off-duty.”

“Very well, Sir”, Vinaek nodded awkwardly before walking away.


	6. Chapter 6

The day of the shore leave, Xarvar chose to dress in a simple robe with geometrical pattern decorated it and a combadge pinned to his chest. 

He arrived on the transporter room and his brain immediately short-circuited. His attention was on the sleeveless vest Vinaek was wearing — he never noticed how muscular Vinaek was underneath their clothes.

“Ready to beam down, Sir?” Leija, the transporter operator asked and Xarvar turned his attention back to his surrounding.

“Yes, Ensign. Thank you very much”, Xarvar answered, hoping that he didn’t make a fool of himself with his crew still around.

“Not a problem, Sir. Please enjoy your shore leave.”

The two of them beamed over to the Spacedock, and Vinaek looked around in awe at the sight of their surrounding — and Xarvar realized that Vinaek probably had never have travelled the stars before the invasion of Virinat, and their time as a refugee probably did not allow them to enjoy sightseeing in peace. Because of that, he made a mental note to show Vinaek other Federation planets and bases just so he could see the awed expression on their face again. 

“I’ve never seen a spacedock like this before. It’s so… busy”, Vinaek said as they walked to the nearest window by the shipyard. Ships came and went, and tiny shuttles flitted around the docks like little  _ flin _ . “Is that Earth?”

“Yes”, Xarvar replied, a smile on his face. “It’s so green, isn’t it. The first time I saw it, I couldn’t believe my eyes because I’ve never seen a planet so green.”

“It looks like Virinat”, Vinaek breathed out. It seemed that they didn’t realize they were saying it out loud, and looked surprised when they did. “Ah, forgive me. It’s just…”

“It’s alright”, Xarvar said. “I would rather hear about Virinat in her glory days.”

“You saw what it became”, Vinaek said, their gaze lowering. “What is it like? Now, I mean.”

“Dusty”, Xarvar tried to hide a wince and failed. “But it looked like it was beautiful, before the invasion.”

“It was”, Vinaek told him. “Our lives were not without struggle, but we were content. We worked with our hands, grew our own crops, spun our own clothes. We took care of the nature, and she took care of us in return.”

“I wish I could see it”, Xarvar said, as honest as he could. “The Federation should be there to assist you, but we weren’t. I'm sorry.”

Vinaek shook their head. “Virinat is— was not part of the Federation. It’s not your job to save us.”

Well, that was true… But if Virinat sent out a distress call, anyone within the Federation or the Klingon Empire should be obligated to answer. After all, the colony was full of innocent civilians. Even the Klingons still had enough honor not to attack civilian places.

“Do you want to drink something?” Xarvar offered, changing the topic. “I can buy us something from the bar and take it to the lounge where it’s quiet.”

“Oh, you don’t have to. I have some credits”, Vinaek said, but Xarvar raised his hand.

“Keep it. The bartender here owed me so much latinums that I can order a round for my entire crew and still have a lot to spare”, he said, and then with a smug grin he explained, “I kicked his ass at dabo. Not my fault that I’m  _ really  _ lucky.”

That pulled out a laugh from Vinaek.

The two of them ended up buying iced _raktajino_ , a cup of hot _tarka_ , and cold Romulan ale, before settling down at the lounge near the shipyard.

“Back at the colony, young people would drink the ale as a challenge because of its harsh taste”, Vinaek said, twirling their glass lightly. “Most us preferred mead and wine.”

Xarvar had never tried Romulan ale before, but looking at his own glass, the light-blue liquid looked innocent enough. Surely it wasn’t that bad? Curious, he took a sip of his drink and immediately winced as he was greeted by the combination between its strong aroma and taste. It felt like his throat  _ burned _ , and not in a nice way most alcoholic beverages did.

“Yeah, I can see why you wouldn’t drink it too often”, Xarvar said, putting down his glass and reached for his  _ raktajino  _ next. The familiar drink immediately soothed his tastebud with sweetness. He still found it was hard to believe that Klingons could make drinks this soft.

The two of them chatted a little bit about their favorite drinks and food. As Vinaek’s culinary experience was limited to their life back at the colony (and their time as a refugee, but they did  _ not _ speak of that), they looked very interested at the description of alien food and drinks that Xarvar had encountered during his time at the Alpha Quadrant.

“Bajoran food sounds intriguing”, Vinaek admitted. “It sounds like a nice place…”

“It is”, Xarvar said with a smile. “If you stick around, the Jelavax might get assigned back to the Alpha Quadrant. I still have unfinished matter with the Bajorans, after all.”

“I’ll look forward to that”, Vinaek returned.

The conversation died down after that. Vinaek pulled out a PADD and began sketching something. Xarvar didn’t know that they could draw, and this newfound fact intrigued him.

He wanted to know more about Vinaek, but he also enjoyed the comfortable silence they shared. Vinaek looked content as they draw, their eyebrows knitted in concentration. Occasionally, they would tuck stray hair behind their ears; the tick was also something that Xarvar just found out, and he thought it was extremely adorable.

Eventually, Vinaek stretched up on their seat. That was when Xarvar’s combadge whistled, breaking the silence.

“Sorry, duty calls”, Xarvar told Vinaek.

“Ah, I’m sorry if I’m ignoring you”, Vinaek said, blushing green.

“It’s no problem. I enjoyed the silence”, Xarvar smiled. He did enjoy watching them the whole time. The combadge whistled again; somebody  _ really _ needed him that badly. “I’m sorry, but I really need to go now.”

“Of course, Captain”, Vinaek said.

Xarvar gave Vinaek a quick smile, before standing up from his seat — he really needed to answer the call in case it was an emergency situation. He left the lounge before answering to the call. Flores’ voice immediately greeted him. 

“Sir, Admiral T’Nae from Starbase-39 Sierra wishes to speak with you”, she said.

“Tell her I’m on my way”, Xarvar replied.

“Copy that, Sir. Do you want to beam up now?” Flores asked.

“Affirmative.”

And that was the end of a rather short shore leave.


	7. Chapter 7

The whirlwind of events that happened for the next two weeks swept nearly everyone aboard the Jelavax. 

The Romulan Republic gave the Federation intel that the last Praetor of Romulus, Taris, was still alive and that she was indirectly involved in the Hobus Supernova that destroyed Romulus and Remus. When they attempted to apprehend her, she escaped through an Iconian gateway.

The story was almost too fantastic to be true. Hence, that was why the Jelavax was ordered to check if the intel was correct. 

The mission was rough and in the end, Xarvar found out that Taris had gone mad from losing her homeworld. She was trying to reactivate an Iconian gateway so she could turn back the time and prevented the supernova. Xarvar managed to capture her, but Sela arrived in the system and demanded that she was brought to justice at the hand of the Romulan Star Empire. Xarvar would rather eat his own toes than listen to the empress’ demand, so he handed Taris over to U.S.S. Belfast instead.

And that was that.

The Jelavax was damaged in the battle that followed; some systems were offline, including the transwarp drive. They still had the warp core up and running, thank the stars, but they had to limp to Starbase 234—the closest they could reach from Iconia system without having to use the transwarp.

One of the systems that went offline were the science lab, which contained very fragile samples from the Alpha Quadrant. Since most of the engineers were working repairs on other parts of the ship, Xarvar took it upon himself to repair the science lab. Which he soon regretted.

He started as a science officer, and he knew his way around the lab. He knew how to repair the consoles and the controls, but if he had to admit it, it had been awhile since he had to handle things himself — since he received his captaincy, to be exact.

He was quite literally neck deep in wires when a pair of boots entered his vision.

It was Vinaek's. 

“Oh, good. An extra pair of hands”, Xarvar rolled himself from underneath the console, before standing up, patting his dark sleeveless tunic off. “Can you help me with the console while I fix the containment unit controls?”

“Of course, Captain”, Vinaek said, rolling his sleeves up to his elbow and took Xarvar's place.

“An hour ago, I would've asked why you're not enjoying the leave like a good little passenger should, but at this point I'm too grateful that you're here”, Xarvar said as he went underneath the controls. There were just so many things to fix before the science lab was up and running again.

“I found the starbase a little boring, I don't know why. Perhaps because you're not there, Captain”, Vinaek said and Xarvar nearly hit the flat surface above his head at the blunt admission. He wished he could see Vinaek's face from this angle, but the Romulan was too deep in the console for Xarvar to see, save for their legs, which stuck out of the console.

“Well, I'm glad that you find my presence entertaining”, Xarvar said, face heating up. “And please call me Xarvar. We’re still on shore leave.”

“Your insistence to be called without your assigned title is highly infuriating”, Vinaek grumbled, loud enough for Xarvar to hear. “Any other Romulan would be jumping at the chance of being called by their title.”

“Well, I’m not a Romulan”, Xarvar said said with a snort.

“Evidently”, Vinaek returned. “Though I don’t know what you are. Is it rude to ask?”

That was fair enough, Xarvar thought. Not many knew about his species, who lived at the very edge of Beta Quadrant.

“My people is called the Nibellan”, Xarvar said. “Nothing much to say. The Federation found us as soon as we achieved warp, made first contact, and offered us a place in it. We’ve been part of the Federation since.”

“Huh”, was all Vinaek’s response, before going quiet. It made Xarvar wonder if they were comparing the Nibellan to the Romulans — how lucky it had to be for the Nibellans. No planet-shattering incidents or power-thirsty empresses to divide their people.

But luck was a real and sacred thing to the Nibellans. Xarvar himself was said to be born with extremely good luck, and it was mostly thanks to his luck that he survived the many ordeals he went through during his assignment on the Jelavax. It was thanks to his good luck he found such a competent crew; without them, he would be nothing.

Now that he thought about it, his good luck gave him a chance to meet (and save) Vinaek too. And like any other things his luck gave him, he was thankful of that chance.

In the end, Xarvar told Vinaek a bit about his people’s culture, about the role luck played within the society. The Nibellans had more than twenty words to describe luck, ranging from good luck to bad luck, and that wasn’t counting adjectives.

“What happens to people born with bad luck?” Vinaek asked after being quiet for awhile.

“These days? The community takes care of them”, Xarvar answered. “It used to be different, a hundred years ago. But we changed, changed the law, and gave people born with bad luck more privilege. So that we may ease them of the suffering caused by their bad luck.”

“That’s… very nice”, Vinaek said.

Silence hung between them as the two of them worked. Xarvar was almost done with the controls, while Vinaek moved from one console to another. The silence between them was filled only with the beeps coming from the consoles.

“My people”, Vinaek said all of a sudden. “The Romulans, we don’t believe in luck. Not to be dismissive of your culture, but luck and other superstitions… they simply don’t exist in our common language.”

“Interesting”, Xarvar returned, as he put the reinforced casing back on. He was finally done with the controls and stood up to run diagnostics. Just to make sure that everything was running as intended.

“Do you think so?” Vinaek asked. “Because, you see, if luck truly exists, then we the Romulan, as a whole, must have really bad luck.”

“No offense, but I don’t think luck has anything to do with your people’s suffering”, Xarvar said, turning his attention to the Romulan across the room. “What happened to you, to your people… it’s inconceivable. But the blame lies within your leaders.”

Vinaek shifted their gaze down. They looked sad and contemplative, and Xarvar had to resist the urge to pull the Romulan into an embrace. To ease their suffering, even for just a little bit.

But then Vinaek raised their gaze. “I… I’m done with the consoles, Sir. May I be excused?” they asked.

“Of course. Thank you for your help”, Xarvar answered. Then, before Vinaek could leave, he continued. “It’s easy to lay the blame to something that you don’t understand, Vinaek. But even I, an outsider who believes in luck and other superstitions, can see that your leaders have caused enough suffering for you and your people.”

Vinaek stared at him with those sad eyes, before walking out of the lab.


	8. Chapter 8

Over the next few days, the Jelavax was assigned to the Briar Patch to investigate strange anomaly inside it. All scanners were up and running to collect data, and Xarvar, sitting on the captain’s chair, skimmed over them with partial interest.

“Sir, we’re receiving a transmission from Lieutenant Commander DeSoto”, his second-in-command, Elisa Flores, said.

“Direct him to my ready room”, Xarvar returned, before heading out of the bridge.

“Greetings, Captain Tervatex”, the projection of Lieutenant Commander DeSoto said once the transmission was received. “How’s the Briar Patch?”

“Rather fascinating. Nothing concrete yet, but we assumed that the anomaly is linked to temporal activities within the area”, Xarvar answered. “But I assume that you’re not here to talk about strange anomalies.”

“Indeed”, DeSoto said. “Have you heard about the Vault, Captain?”

“No, I can’t say I have”, Xarvar answered honestly.

“It is a Romulan base, one that they use to research about Borg technology. This facility was abandoned in the chaos after the destruction of the Romulan homeworld. However, our sensors have detected energy spikes in the Haakona system, and Starfleet Intelligence believes that someone is bringing the Vault back online.”

“You want me to check this… Vault?” Xarvar asked.

“That’s correct”, DeSoto answered. “I need you to proceed immediately to the Haakona system and investigate the Vault. Engage if you must, but I would prefer if you could gather the information we need without conflict.”

“So it’s an in-and-out mission”, Xarvar returned with a nod. “I can do that, Lieutenant Commander.”

“Thank you for your assistance, Captain Tervatex. DeSoto out.” And with that, the transmission ended.

— 

Just as he figured, it was an in-and-out mission. So Xarvar chose to use a shuttle to go into the Vault, as the Jelavax was too big and attention-grabbing.

Not for the first time in his life, Xarvar cursed his good luck — because technically, it was a good luck that he somehow managed to discover that a group of Reman resistance was using the base to study and create weapons out of the Borg technology hidden in the base. He managed to escape the base unscathed, and once he returned to the Jelavax, he came to Starbase 39-Sierra to speak with DeSoto about his findings.

Once he was done, he met with Ambassador Surah in one of the base’s lounge by the medbay. The meeting soon turned into a heated reunion, which continued well into the ambassador’s private quarter in the base.

“I seem to hear rumors about you and a Romulan passenger of yours”, the ambassador said once they were done.

“Are you jealous?” Xarvar challenged with a smirk.

“Merely intrigued”, Surah returned, rubbing circles on Xarvar’s cheek with casual tenderness. “And perhaps a little bit concerned. Romulans are well known with their secrets and intrigues.”

“Be careful. That casual xenophobia doesn’t look good on you, Ambassador”, Xarvar teased. “They’re just a civilian.”

“I see”, Surah hummed.

“They’re… fascinating, I should say. I want to know them better”, Xarvar said openly. He had never told anyone about this, not even to Counselor Kelora. “It’s been awhile since I feel this way.”

“Since you feel… what?” Surah asked.

“Wanting”, Xarvar answered. “Longing for something that I cannot have.”

“How could you be so sure?” Surah returned.

“They are a passenger aboard my ship, and I am the captain”, Xarvar explained. “I don’t want to come off as abusing my position.”

“Well, I was a passenger on your ship too when we started this”, Surah tilted his head, a smile playing on his lips.

“The situation was different”, Xarvar insisted, frowning. “Wasn’t it?”

“I cannot answer that for you, you know that”, Surah returned. “Perhaps it would be best if you follow your heart. Your luck will handle the rest.”

“You always made me think about things that I wouldn’t think about otherwise”, Xarvar said. “Thank you, I guess, for making me think about this.”

“I want you to be happy, little star”, Surah said with a sad smile.

“And you’ll still be happy? Even if we don’t do this anymore?” Xarvar asked.

“I’ll be fine”, Surah answered. “Go chase after that comet, fleeting as they might be.”

— 

After his talk with Ambassador Surah, Xarvar became even more aware of his crush to Vinaek.

The crush was still new, like a budding flower after a long winter. Every time he saw them sitting on the lounge, alone despite the crowd surrounding them, he felt his stomach did a funny flip. He would then press his hand on his abdomen and felt his heart beating faster than usual, and his mind urging him to come over and say hi.

He always bowed out, every time.

What he told Ambassador Surah was a real concern. He was a captain of a starship, first and foremost. Not only he had duties to his crew and their wellbeing, his rank put him in a rather difficult position to court someone who lived aboard his ship. He did not want to come off as abusing his power —  _ stars forbid  _ — so he tried to hide his feelings.

Emphasis on  _ ‘tried’ _ .

“You have a crush on Vinaek”, Flores said all of a sudden.

Xarvar spilled his Vulcan tea.

They were doing paperwork in the ready room and Flores’ not-question surprised him more than the report about Borg sighting in the Hobus Sector he was currently reading. Xarvar tried to wipe his uniform from the stain, but it ended much like his attempt to hide his feelings. An epic failure.

“Yes”, Xarvar replied with a resigned sigh. “I do.”

“That's kind of straightforward. I was kind of hoping you would fluster and deny”, Flores said, chuckling.

“There’s nothing to deny. I simply cannot hope to pursue it, there's too much… complications.” Xarvar pursed his lips and eyed his second-in-command. “And I'm not discussing this with you.”

“Oh, come on!” Flores cried out. “Would you rather discuss it with someone else? While I love and respect my fellow department heads, you gotta admit that I'm the best to discuss this kind of matter with. Unless you wanna discuss it with Artana’Zuma or T'Ris?”

Xarvar blinked. He knew that there was truth in her words — he couldn’t imagine trying to consult about romantic endeavors to a Jem’Hadar or a Vulcan. Artana’Zuma, while not as violent as the other Jem’Hadar, would still probably suggest he challenged Vinaek for a ritual combat. 

Or maybe that was Vulcan. Didn’t they have  _ koon-ut-kal-if-fee _ , a fight to the death, as part of their bonding ritual?

Xarvar sighed.

“It’s just…” he said, pausing. “It’s been awhile since I’m feeling this kind of… feeling. I did not expect it to come up when I accepted this position, nor did I know that it would be so… complicated.”

“Why did you think your feelings are complicated? They’re not a crewmember”, Flores asked.

“They still live aboard my ship, in case you didn’t notice”, Xarvar returned, hand on his chin as he scrolled through the reports mindlessly. “There has to be a rule that forbids such relationship.”

“Sir, I’m gonna speak with you not as your second-in-command, but as your closest friend since the academy years”, Flores said, her tone serious. “But you’ve always been a dumbass. No,  _ listen _ . You always worry about rules and regulations, even when there are  _ no _ rules. Don’t think I forget Christmas two-four-oh-four.”

Xarvar snapped his head up and met Flores’s eyes. “There isn’t?”

“There isn’t, you worrywart”, Flores said fondly. “You can ‘court’ anyone you want. There’s no fraternization rule since the twenty-third century. You should’ve known this, seeing that you’re a Captain Kirk fanboy.”

Could it be so simple? Xarvar stared at his second-in-command, too stunned to reply.

“W-well, I still have to ask if my feelings are reciprocated”, Xarvar said, eventually, fiddling his thumbs.

“Aww, you can do it, Xavii”, Flores cooed, before clearing her throat. “Well, Sir, that’s the last of the paperwork. If you no longer need me, permission to be dismissed?”

“Permission granted”, Xarvar replied.


	9. Chapter 9

A week after, Admiral T’Nae sent the Jelavax to Hfihar System. Technically, the system was part of the Romulan Star Empire, but Ferengi traders moved in and Empress Sela had done nothing to remove them, so now they stayed and were doing business with anyone as long as they had latinums.

Xarvar, who was already sick of Sela, would’ve never thought that it would be possible for him to hate her even more. All Romulan refugees who lived on the moon surface were treated like slaves by a Ferengi trader called Madran, and Sela had done nothing to save them. 

Don’t get him wrong, he hated Madran to guts too, right from the moment he beamed down to the moon surface and saw how sickly and desperate the Romulans there looked. There were even survivors from Virinat who were stuck there, dreaming for the stars they could no longer reach. Xarvar swore that if he weren’t doing a mission for Starfleet, he would kidnap them and stow them away on his ship. 

Except he couldn’t, because Madran kept an eye on who came and left his stupid moon. It took Xarvar everything not to shoot the Ferengi right between his lobes and liberated the Romulan refugees.

Oh and he found a Tal Shiar base too down in the mines, from which he managed to pull out some data.

Xarvar returned to the Jelavax, exhausted both physically and mentally. His throat was itchy from all the dusts he inhaled on the moon surface and inside the mine, and he was dying to take a shower to clean himself. Speaking with Madran was enough to make him feel like he was covered in layers of grime.

“How was the mission, Sir?” Flores asked as soon as he arrived on a shuttle. He refused to beam up, with Madran’s transporter signal enhancer still in place. He turned to face his second-in-command and her expression turned into a wince. “That bad, huh?”

“Is there any rule against offering asylum to Romulan Star Empire citizens? Because I am so close to do just that”, he said as he took the turbolift to the crew’s deck. Flores trailed behind him.

“There’s… none, as far as I know. We might be crossing the Prime Directive a bit since it can be considered the Empire internal matters”, she answered. “Also, Empress Sela might consider it a challenge the validity of her rule.”

“What we’re doing already challenges the validity of her rule”, Xarvar countered. The prospect of kidnapping the Romulan refugees was getting more tempting by the seconds.

“What are you gonna do now, Sir?” Flores asked.

“Right now? I’m going to take a long shower, and then sleep”, Xarvar answered. 

Screw Tal Shiar data, he deserved his sleep.

—

Xarvar woke up with a jolt.

His heart raced before reality settled in. He was in his quarter aboard the Jelavax, and the hum of his ship grounded him, a tether to keep him from succumbing deeper into the nightmares. The ship was safe and his crew were alright. 

_ But what if they weren’t _ , an irrational paranoia surged through him, and Xarvar hopped out of his bed, before walking out of his room.

The deck was still alive with his crew milling about, and it calmed him to walk amongst them, answering to their greetings as he walked by. Deciding that a cup of  _ raktajino  _ would serve him good, he headed towards the lounge. It wasn’t crowded there, but it wasn’t empty either, and it was… good. His crew was safe, his ship was too, and Xarvar breathed out in relief.

He got his cup of  _ raktajino _ , and, when he was about to sit down, he saw a certain someone sitting by the window where the stars rushed past.

“May I join you?” he asked, and Vinaek looked up from their PADD. They were drawing, he noticed. A half-empty glass of  _ tarka  _ sat in front of them.

“Of course”, Vinaek answered. Perhaps they noticed his gaze, and they covered the PADD with their arm. Xarvar averted his gaze and sat down.

His  _ raktajino _ was warm and sweet, and he downed it all in three seconds. The last traces of his nightmares slowly dissipated into nothingness, and Xarvar allowed himself to take a deep, deep breath, relieved that his nightmares were not real.

“Nightmare?” Vinaek asked, and Xarvar winced even though their tone was polite.

Took one to know one.

He nodded, before asking in return. “You?”

Vinaek’s gaze lowered to their PADD, and they removed their forearm to reveal a drawing about fire and destruction. Elachi ships loomed at the sky, taking away people in the middle of the chaos. It was a horrible, horrible sight to see.

“Eidetic memory”, Vinaek whispered. “I’m no Vulcan, but somehow I possess it. I cannot forget… I never forget.”

“You shouldn’t”, Xarvar said. “You shouldn’t forget the tragedy that had happened, but you shouldn’t forget either that there was time before the destruction. A time of peace and freedom.”

Vinaek’s eyes wetted and they wiped it with the back of their hand, sniffling quietly. Xarvar averted his eyes to give them some privacy, looking out to the window and pretending to admire the view. The sniffling continued for a while, until it stopped completely.

“Sorry”, Vinaek croaked out, voice still raw from crying. 

“It’s alright”, Xarvar reassured as he turned his attention back to the Romulan. “You’ve been through enough atrocities to last several lifetimes. I cannot claim to know how you feel, but I hope that you will find peace.”

“I already have”, Vinaek said. “Being on this ship, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But I… My entire life has been a series of unfortunate events, one after another. I just… It’s hard to believe that I can finally be at ease.”

That sounded like a loaded history. Xarvar decided not to touch it, despite his curiosity.

“Would you like to talk to a counselor?” he offered instead.

“I—” Vinaek paused, hesitating. “Would it help?”

“It won’t hurt to try”, Xarvar answered with a small shrug.

Vinaek looked like they were considering his offer. Eventually, their shoulders sagged and they sighed. “If it helps… I— I want it. I want to get better.”

“I’ll arrange an appointment with Counselor P’thiv for you”, Xarvar returned with a smile.

“Thank you, Cap— um… Xarvar”, Vinaek said.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next few weeks, Xarvar noticed the change in Vinaek. He saw them slowly opening up to the crew, no longer sequestering themself in one corner like they previously did. Often, Xarvar would see them eating together with other passengers and crewmembers. They still rarely smiled, but there was something with their aura that made them less… gloomy.

One night, after the alpha shift was over, Xarvar steeled himself and sauntered towards where Vinaek was sitting surrounded by three engineering officers.

“Room for one more?” Xarvar asked the four of them, and they scooted to give him space. He set down his tray of food on the table, before taking the seat across Vinaek’s.

“Captain Tervatex, heard you beat Selaak in tri-dimensional chess yesterday”, Crewman Inzar, an Andorian, piped up.

“Isn’t Selaak a grandmaster in tri-dimensional chess? I seem to remember he used to brag about it”, Crewman Anderson returned. “Logically, of course. Since Vulcans don’t brag.”

A chorus of laughter spread around the table — even Vinaek smiled slightly.

“You know me, I just got lucky with that game”, Xarvar said humbly, before taking a spoonful of his  _ grolanda _ stew.

“Absolutely no way! I heard from Chief Cabezas, the game ended in eight moves!” Officer Oltedov, another Andorian, returned almost too excitedly. “Chief Cabezas should know better than betting against you, Captain. She’s rather grumpy since she lost five thousand credits to the bet.”

“I’m going to pretend I don’t hear any illegal activity, such as betting, happening on my ship”, Xarvar teased, but keeping his tone serious. He made a mental note to get his Chief Security, Artana’Zuma, discourage such activity.

“Yes, Captain”, Officer Oltedov returned, positively chastised. Anderson and Inzar snickered behind their hand.

“So you’re good at tri-dimensional chess, Captain?” Vinaek asked casually as they poked at their stir-fried mollusks. “How about  _ masaharis? _ ”

“What is  _ masaharis? _ ” Xarvar asked, his curiosity piqued. He had never heard about it before, but then again he hadn’t heard much about Romulan culture, about their civilians’ life and suchlike.

“It’s a multiplayer strategic board game, played by three to six people”, Vinaek answered. “I’m not terribly good at it, but not terribly bad either. I can teach you, if you like.”

“Captain Tervatex is scarily good at every game. I won’t be surprised if he kicks our collective rumps as soon as he learns how to play it”, Crewman Anderson said. “You need to be careful, Vinaek.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Anderson”, Xarvar returned with a chuckle. “I’d love to try it someday, Vinaek.”

The friendly chat evolved into a discussion about various games throughout the Alpha and Beta Quadrants, such as  _ kadis-kot  _ and  _ sharash’di _ . Xarvar then introduced a Nibellan game called  _ val’tavax _ , that was purely strategical with various handicaps to accommodate those who were born unlucky.

“How do the Nibellans determine if a child is born lucky or not?” Crewman Inzar asked, and the topic shifted to Nibellan’s ritual which determined how lucky a child was born as. His table-mates seemed intrigued by the whole process and listened to his explanation raptly.

Xarvar was in the middle of explaining about the  _ udan-klarox _ test, which every child of age ten had to go through to prove their luck, when Flores’ voice came through the shipwide announcement.

“ _ Captain Tervatex, please report to the bridge _ .”

“No rest for the weary”, Xarvar said to his table-mates with a sigh. “It’s nice talking to all of you.”

“Of course, Captain”, Officer Oltedov said, and the other crewmembers repeated after her.

With that, Xarvar excused himself, dumping his empty bowl into the recycle chute, before heading towards the bridge.

—

As it turned out, Admiral T’Nae wanted to send him and the Jelavax to Dera IV to investigate a Reman settlement, which was targeted by the Tal Shiar. At the end of it, he somehow managed to secure an alliance with Obisek, the leader of the Reman resistance, which was fortunate. He also got injured in the following battle against the Tal Shiar, which was unfortunate.

He had to stay in the sickbay for the rest of the day, before heading to his quarter so that he could get to his mission reports. That was when he found Vinaek, leaning against the wall and fiddling their thumb, in the hallway that led to his quarter.

“Captain, I—” Vinaek looked worried. “I heard that you got injured.”

Xarvar took a deep breath, before tilting his head. “Let’s go to my quarter.”

The two of them did, and Xarvar let Vinaek sit by the window before he replicated himself a cup of Vulcan tea and Vinaek a cup of  _ tarka _ . He noticed Vinaek’s gaze roaming over him, as if trying to find any sign of injury through their eyes alone.

“Rumor has it that the Remans injured you”, Vinaek said after a moment of silence.

“Ah, no. It was the Tal Shiar, actually”, Xarvar returned. “I can’t tell you much — it’s classified, you see. But I’m alright, I got lucky.”

“I don’t believe in luck”, Vinaek said. “But I— I am glad that you are well.”

Vinaek reached over to grab their cup of  _ tarka _ , before toying with the condensation on the glass. They stared into their cup as if it held the secret of the universe. Silence hung between them, until—

“Captain—” Vinaek raised their gaze and met Xarvar in the eye.

“Yes?” Xarvar urged when Vinaek remained silent.

“Nevermind. I— It’s nothing important”, Vinaek returned, green creeping up their face and their shoulders tensing up.

“If you say so”, Xarvar said, before leaning back to his seat. He couldn’t deny that he was curious about what Vinaek was going to say, but he wasn’t going to push them when they were clearly uncomfortable with it.

“I’m glad that you are well, Captain”, Vinaek repeated, and this time, there were… something, in their eyes. Something that Xarvar couldn’t quite decipher.

“I’m glad that I’m well too”, Xarvar returned, slight teasing in his voice. “Have you been waiting for me the whole time?” 

The green on Vinaek’s face reached up to the tip of their ears.

“I didn’t know when you would be released from the sickbay. Your CMO didn’t allow visitors”, Vinaek answered defensively. “You saved my life, and I— I’d feel bad if I cannot repay you in ways that matter.”

“Vinaek, I didn’t save you so that you feel indebted to me”, Xarvar returned. “You don’t have to pay me back.”

Vinaek shook their head repeatedly. “You don’t— You don’t  _ understand _ ”, they said. “All my life— All my life, I had no one to look after me.  _ No one _ . I wasn’t lying when I said that being on this ship is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and it’s all thanks to  _ you _ .”

“Vinaek, I—” Xarvar paused, hesitating, but Vinaek was not done yet.

“My parents were dead!” Vinaek cried out, near hysteric. “My father before I was born, my mother as soon as I was born. I was raised by my uncle who abused me, starved me, beat me. I keep saying that I don’t believe in luck, but if luck truly does exist, then I have to be the unluckiest person ever alive.”

“Your uncle. Did he survive Virinat?” Xarvar felt anger rise in his chest at Vinaek’s words. But Vinaek simply shook their head.

“It— it was self-defense. He wanted to beat me for hiding food from him, so I— I pushed him”, Vinaek said, wiping tears off their face.

“Oh…” Xarvar didn’t know what to say.

“I  _ want _ to pay you back, because you’re the only person in this universe who gave me a chance”, Vinaek continued with a sob. “To prove myself, to grow. To be who I’m supposed to be. You gave  _ everything _ to me, and you don’t even realize how much it matters to me.”

“I’m so sorry, Vinaek. I— I didn’t know”, Xarvar returned.

“Don’t be sorry”, Vinaek let out a wet laugh. “You know, Counselor P’thiv told me to talk to you, but I didn’t want to burden you with my past. But I guess I ended up burdening you, regardless.”

“It’s no burden to me at all”, Xarvar reassured, placing his hand on top of Vinaek’s. “Thank you for talking to me. I assure you, you will always have a place here, aboard my ship, if you want it.”

Despite the tears, Vinaek smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

Then, just like that, everything changed.

He noticed the change in Vinaek slowly, like a flower blooming after a rough winter. The once-sullen Romulan became someone who smiled often, often surrounded themself with people who accepted them readily, and it made Xarvar feel somewhat… proud. It seemed that Vinaek had accepted their place aboard the Jelavax, making her their home just like it was Xarvar’s home.

They also sought Xarvar often, coming to talk over dinner once his shift was over. They talked about mundane things, and Xarvar told them about his day without leaking classified information.

“I used to hate the stars”, Vinaek admitted once Xarvar was done telling them about the latest astrophysical phenomenon the Jelavax encountered. “After all, space is nothing but dangerous and deadly, with hostile beings lurking at every corner. The Borgs, the Cardassians, the Tal Shiar… just to name a few.”

“The space also hosts friendly species, like the Deferi, the Vulcans, the Andorians”, Xarvar countered. “And the Romulans too.”

Vinaek snorted. “The Tal Shiar is nothing but friendly.”

“No, but the Romulan Republic is”, Xarvar returned with a shrug.

“I— I heard rumors about you and the Deferi ambassador”, Vinaek said without missing a beat. “Is it true that the two of you are… you know…  _ bondmates? _ ”

Xarvar nearly choked on his  _ raktajino _ .

“No?! We’re not?” he said once he managed to speak without coughing. “Where did people get that idea, anyway? We’re just— We’re friends?”

At Vinaek’s impassive stare, Xarvar let out a sigh. “Alright, friends with benefits, as the Humans would say.”

“Oh”, was all that Vinaek said.

“We agreed that our relationship stay strictly commitment-less”, Xarvar continued. “He needs to help his species rebuild, make tiny Deferi babies so to speak. While I’m— oh, you know me. Too busy boldly going where no one has gone before.”

“Oh”, Vinaek repeated. “S-so… there’s no time for… interpersonal relationship?”

For the second time, Xarvar nearly choked on his  _ raktajino _ .

“V-Vinaek—?”

“What do you think…” Vinaek’s voice lowered. “ _ Captain? _ ”

The way they said his title sent shivers down his spine, and Xarvar could feel his face heating up, could feel Vinaek’s breath on his skin — and only then he realized how close they were sitting. Vinaek’s eyes were dark brown, so dark they were like twin black holes, and Xarvar felt himself falling into its event horizon.

That was until Vinaek blinked, and the moment fell apart around the two of them so much like shattered glass.

“I— I’m sorry”, Vinaek withdrew. “That was highly inappropriate. I was— I should go.”

And just like that, they went off, leaving Xarvar alone with his still racing heart.

—

Xarvar didn’t see Vinaek again the next day, and the day after that. He knew that Vinaek was avoiding him, but there was nothing that he could do about that.

He wasn’t dumb. He knew exactly what Vinaek was implying, and it made his heart flip in his abdomen at the prospect that Vinaek  _ might _ hold a feeling for him, a feeling that he too felt for them. However, it was clear that Vinaek was still struggling with their feeling, just as much as he was struggling with his. Because of this, he didn’t want to pursue after Vinaek — not until they were ready.

Days turned into a week, and there was no sign of Vinaek coming around. Might as well — Xarvar had another mission waiting for him. 

The Jelavax was contacted by Obisek to investigate missing thalaron weapons shipment. These advanced weaponries could be dangerous if they fell on the wrong hands — especially if those hands belonged to the Tal Shiar. But Obisek was more focused on getting his men safe and sound, and really, could Xarvar blame him? He would do the same too if any of his crew was captured by the Tal Shiar.

When the Jelavax arrived on the Nopada System, the ship was caught in a tractor beam trap. Xarvar, along with a team of four, had to beam into the satellite to disable its defense mechanism. However, he was separated from his team when he transported back.

“ _ Valma balas _ ”, Xarvar said wholeheartedly, once he realized where he was.

He was inside a prison cell, in a cave somewhere — probably not too far from where he was snatched away. His captor probably had recalibrated his transporter signal, taking him away right under the Jelavax’ proverbial nose. He couldn’t see the others, but that didn’t mean they weren’t in another cell.

He wasn’t done gathering his thoughts, when his cell door opened. Cautiously, he stepped out of the cell. He was immediately face-to-face with a Reman, who eyed him suspiciously.

He found some short-range weapons up ahead. He checked that his captors had taken his phaser, commbadge, tricorder, and science kits — so he took a Vulcan  _ lirpa  _ from its place on the weaponry.

He swung it several times, testing its weight. He used to train with  _ lirpa _ , back in the academy, but he was quite rusty with it, having gone without practice for so long. Still, it was better than nothing. Once he was sure he was not defenseless, he followed the Reman, who took a  _ bat’leth  _ with him.

A heavy metallic door opened ahead of him. Xarvar should have known better not to trust it — he was being lead around by his captor, and he should proceed with extreme caution.

But behind the metallic door, there was an empty circular room, roughly ten meters in diameter. Tall walls surrounded it, making escape impossible — and for an ugly moment, Xarvar thought that he was supposed to fight the Reman. His conversation with Obisek flashed in his mind — Xarvar would rather not kill Obisek’s subordinate, unless his life was depending on it.

But instead, a swarm of large arachnids was released into the arena. Nopadan desert acari, he recognized. So he was still in Nopada System — that was good to know. However, these acari seemed to be more aggressive than usual, which was odd.

Xarvar sliced through the swarm, swinging the  _ lirpa  _ on his hands with deadly accuracy. Next to him, the Reman did the same with the  _ bat’leth  _ in his hands.

Eventually, the two of them managed to kill all of the acari. Xarvar knelt by one of them, wishing that he still had his science kits. He wished to know what caused their aggressiveness.

Before he could contemplate about it further, however, a pack of warriguls were released into the arena. There was no doubt, in that moment, that he was captured by the Tal Shiar — the Romulans had domesticated them, much like the Vulcans domesticated the sehlats. But these warriguls had to be wild, seeing that they jumped at Xarvar and his fellow prisoner with no hesitation like domesticated warriguls would.

One of the warriguls managed to slash his left upper arm, before he could smash its skull with the bottom part of his  _ lirpa _ . Blue blood dripped from his wounds, and as if attracted by the scent of blood, the warriguls closed in on him.

With a war cry, Xarvar bared his teeth and charged forward — a foolish move, in hindsight, but it worked somehow. The warriguls hesitated to attack for a second or two, and he sliced through them without mercy. 

Breathing heavily and still bleeding, Xarvar leaned on his  _ lirpa  _ — that was when the metallic doors opened.

Xarvar turned to the Reman, hesitating. The Reman was frozen in place, as if he was held by some kind of stasis field.

“You cannot save me. Leave!” the Remain hissed.

Xarvar did as he was told.


	12. Chapter 12

He stayed in his cell alone for a couple of hours — he managed to stop the bleeding on his arm by using the sleeve of his uniform to staunch the blood flow. He worried that it might be infected later on, but it wasn’t like he had anything to clean his wounds with.

Eventually, the Reman returned to his cell, shaking but otherwise seemingly unharmed. He eyed Xarvar with apparent interest, and Xarvar couldn’t help but feel like he was being examined.

Eventually, he had enough and stared back at the Reman.

“What’s your name?” he asked. “How did you get here?”

“You want to know my story? I’m stuck in this prison, just like you”, the Reman answered with surprising aggression. “That’s my story.”

“I apologize, that’s not what I intended”, Xarvar tipped his head slightly. “What led you to be here?”

“My name is Slamek. I am part of a… resistance. Perhaps you have heard of it?” the Reman, Slamek, said. “About a week ago, I was part of a crew ferrying weapons from one base to another. When we passed through this system, a satellite disabled our ship. It drifted into the planet’s atmosphere.”

That sounded like what happened with the Jelavax too, when they arrived in this system.

“I activated the emergency transporter and a few of us were able to transport to safety before the ship crashed in the desert. We were looking for shelter and a way to contact our people when a group of soldiers found us. They took us here and kept throwing us into the arena”, Slamek continued, his eyes darkening. “Now I’m now the only one remaining. That is all I know.”

“Soldiers? What kind of soldiers?” Xarvar asked.

“I don’t know who is responsible for this place. The trainers and guards all appear to be mercenaries without any clue about what’s going on. They’re paid to keep us in cages and look the other way”, Slamek answered. “The night I was brought in, I was interrogated. There were bright lights in my eyes and a synthetic voice asking me questions. Whomever it was took care to conceal his identity.”

“Was that the first time you were interrogated?” Xarvar asked again.

“No, I have been questioned by these people several times before. My reluctance to answer their questions earned me this shock collar. Refusal to help them now is… quite painful”, Slamek answered. “Interestingly enough, this was the first time I’ve been questioned about another participant in the arena. They asked how you treated me and if you had said anything about why you were here. They even wanted to know if I thought we could become friends. Someone thinks you are very important.”

That sounded like Hakeev, but Xarvar couldn’t be so sure. Still, it smelled like Tal Shiar operation all over.

“Why would they want to know these things?” Xarvar asked.

“I have no idea what they want with us or why they make us fight”, Slamek answered. “This all seems like some sort of giant game, but there is no one in the stands to be entertained.

“Are there other prisoners being forced to fight?” Xarvar asked. He couldn’t ignore the possibility that his crew were being captured too. He also wondered if it would be possible to arrange a mass-breakout. That would overwhelm these so called guards and trainers.

“I think there are others. I hear other fights”, Slamek said. “If there are other prisoners, I have never been able to contact them. We are kept separated and caged unless we are fighting.”

Silence fell between them, before Xarvar had another question.

“How many fights have you been in?”

“Too many”, Slamek answered, his eyes lowering.

“Do you know of any way past their defenses?” Xarvar asked.

“The trainers carry key cards. That’s the only way I know to get through the defenses”, Slamek said.

Now they were onto something.

“Do you think we can get one of those cards?” Xarvar asked, lowering his voice just a bit.

“Can I trust you?” Slamek asked back.

Xarvar tipped his head slightly. “Of course.”

“I was able to lift a key card from one of the trainers during my interrogation”, Slamek returned. “If you help me, I think we can overpower the guards and escape through the main door in the arena.”

That sounded like a plan.

— 

Except, the plan blew in his face. Slamek turned out to be a traitor, acting on Hakeev’s command. Xarvar managed to escape just in time, but he was injured, badly, and he crashed down as soon as he finished contacting Obisek to tell him about the mission. 

At least Obisek apologized about Slamek’s action.

He woke up breathing hard. In his mind still flashed images of him being torn apart by disruptor fire, shot by Hakeev. He had to hold himself for a long moment, just to make sure that he was whole and safely aboard the Jelavax.

“Sir?” T’Ris asked as she approached him, worry clear on her near-expressionless face.

“I’m fine, T’Ris”, Xarvar managed to breathe out. “I’m fine.”

“It’s… not only that, Sir”, T’Ris said, hesitating. “You have a visitor. I cannot make them leave.”

Xarvar turned his attention from his Chief Medical Officer to Vinaek, who was standing by the sickbay door. Their face too was laden with worry.

“Oh”, was all that Xarvar could say. It took him a moment to realize that T’Ris was waiting for his confirmation. “It’s alright, T’Ris.”

“I’ll be in my office, then, Sir”, T’Ris said, before walking away to give them some privacy.

He watched as Vinaek approached him, before settling down on a chair by his biobed. Their eyes were transfixed on him.

“You have scars”, Vinaek said so suddenly.

Xarvar turned his gaze from them to the scars on his left upper arm. "That I do”, he returned, before returning his gaze back to Vinaek..

“Why not make them gone? Why leave them be?” Vinaek asked.

“You don’t like them?” Xarvar teased with a smile.

Vinaek pouted — straight up pouting, like a five year old Nibellan being denied sweets. “You’re not answering the question.”

Xarvar let out a small chuckle.

“I keep them as proof”, he said. “That despite my luck, I still go through hardships. I’d like to think they make me stay humble.”

Vinaek was quiet for a moment, their fingers hovering above the row of scars that had healed. “May I?” they asked, their eyes was unreadable.

“Sure”, Xarvar replied with a shrug.

Their calloused fingers were gentle as they roamed over the scarred skin. Such tenderness was not unfamiliar, yet it was not unwelcome. He loved when his lovers touched him so gently, exploring every part of his body.

And just like that, his thoughts screeched to a halt.

Did he just refer to Vinaek as his  _ lover? _

“Vinaek, I—” he said, licking his lips. He knew Vulcan was a telepathic species, but was Romulan too? Could Vinaek read his thoughts as if they were an open book?

“Do they hurt?” Vinaek asked, and Xarvar felt a surge of relief. No telepathic ability, then. Most likely.

“They tickle, actually”, Xarvar replied with a snort.

“Captain, I—” Vinaek began, withdrawing their hand.

“Xarvar”, Xarvar interrupted. “Call me Xarvar. Please?”

“Xarvar”, Vinaek repeated. “I’m not— I can’t keep running away from you anymore. I don’t want to keep running away from you anymore.”

_ Good _ , Xarvar wanted to say. But Vinaek looked like he wasn’t done yet.

“I keep telling myself, to tell you. That it’s okay to tell you. But I don’t want to make things change between us”, Vinaek said. “I enjoy your presence, I truly do. But I— I don’t want to lose that.”

“Vinaek”, Xarvar interrupted once again, and he placed his hand on the back of Vinaek’s hand. “It’s alright. Whatever it is that you want to tell me, you can tell me.”

“I love you. You know that?” Vinaek said, their voice cracking slightly. “I love you… I just, I adore you. Everything you do, everything you say. But I can’t— I can’t—”

Xarvar felt his stomach sink. This was cruel — it was like putting something that he desired the most in front of him, and then telling him that he couldn’t have it.

“Can’t what, Vinaek?” he asked, urged.

“I can’t watch you putting yourself in danger anymore”, they finally said.

Oh.

“You keep getting yourself in danger and then— and then you shrug it off, smiling and telling everyone that your luck get you out okay”, Vinaek said. “But you’re not. Every time, you’re not okay, and it’s just so frustrating to see it. Why can’t you see it?”

Xarvar didn’t know what to say, so he did what was logical to him: he pulled Vinaek into a hug.

“Why can’t you see that you’re not okay?” Vinaek asked, voice shaking as if they were crying, but they hugged him back, gently, oh so gently as if they were worried he would break.

“First of all — I love you too”, Xarvar said, slowly, while he gathered his wits.

“You do?” Vinaek asked in disbelief. “Since— since when?”

Xarvar didn’t want to say that he realized his crush since his talk with Ambassador Surah, so he said, “For quite a bit while.”

“Oh”, Vinaek said. “So I’m not making things weird between us?”

“No, of course not”, Xarvar replied. “That’s the second one. The third one… I know I’m not okay, Vinaek. That’s why I have been talking to Counselor Kelora.”

“Does it help?” Vinaek asked.

Xarvar tilted his head slightly. “Perhaps a little bit”, he said. “Don’t tell the Admiralty.”

Vinaek let out a wet laugh.

“Yet you still fight, despite everything?” they asked.

Xarvar broke out of the embrace and cupped Vinaek’s face within his hands. “I fight because I believe in the Federation, in Starfleet. I fight because I believe that what I’m doing shapes our future — and not just mine, but yours too. And every single life within the Federation. I fight because I  _ can _ .”

“I don’t need you to fight for me”, Vinaek said, turning his head slightly. “I just want you to be safe.”

“You can’t keep me locked away somewhere safe, Vinaek. I’m Starfleet, and this is where I belong”, Xarvar said. “You need to trust me that I can take care of myself as best as I can, that I can get out whatever hardships the Universe is throwing at me. If you can do that—”

A sigh. Xarvar shook his head. He couldn’t continue with his words, couldn’t  _ ask _ of Vinaek for more than what they could give.

But Vinaek simply leaned their head on his chest, and Xarvar, on an impulse, ran his hand through their hair.

“I’m scared”, Vinaek admitted, so quietly Xarvar almost couldn’t hear them. “I’m scared that I’ll lose you too.”

Xarvar couldn’t tell them to not be scared. After all, how could he? He meant what he said, every single of it. He was Starfleet — being in mortal peril was an occupational hazard. It would be a lie to tell Vinaek otherwise.

“Is this how it feels? To open your heart for someone else? To fall in love?” Vinaek asked.

“As far as I’m concerned, yes”, Xarvar answered. “Is this… your first time?”

“There was a girl on— on Virinat”, Vinaek said. “I liked when she laughed, but she never laughed when she was around me. I— I think she pitied me.”

“Ouch”, Xarvar said.

“Yeah”, Vinaek returned. “So um. Just to make sure, what— what are we?”

“Partners, if you want. Lovers. Boyfriends”, Xarvar answered.

“Partners… I— I like that”, Vinaek returned. “We have a lot to talk, don’t we?”

“Yes”, Xarvar agreed. “Why don’t you sit more comfortably? It’ll be a long talk.”

They did as they were told, and then, the two of them talked well into the night — about everything, about doubts and fears, about boundaries.

The two of them had so much to talk about, but that was alright.

After all, they had all the time in the Universe. If the stars permitted.


	13. Chapter 13

It was winter time on Earth — and while it was not quite as cold as the Nibellum, Xarvar welcomed the biting cold air as it caressed his skin. Real fresh air truly was different than recycled air inside a spaceship, and he welcomed the change, really.

“What do you think of Earth, Vinaek?” he asked his partner —  _ partner _ , the two of them were partners now, and Xarvar felt a slight spring in his steps at the thought.

“Cold”, Vinaek managed to mumble out through their scarf, which was wound tightly around their neck as a protection against the weather. They were also wearing insulated nanofiber coat, which was a bit excessive in Xarvar’s eyes — but hey, he’d rather have Vinaek all bundled up nice and cozy than be miserable the whole time.

“I mean the view”, Xarvar said with a chuckle. “Does it fulfill your expectation?”

Vinaek was quiet as they let their eyes roam. Xarvar gently guided them out of people’s way as they walked through San Fransisco’s street.

“I’ve never seen buildings so tall”, Vinaek returned.

That was not what Xarvar expected, but it certainly piqued his interest.

“Really?” he asked, turning slightly to face Vinaek as they walked on the pavement.

“The colonists did not see the importance of building skyscrapers”, Vinaek replied with a shrug. “The land was vast and there were so little of us. Houses were built close to one another to strengthen solidarity within the community. Of course we pretended it worked the way it was intended.”

The way Vinaek said it was so full of bitterness, one that Xarvar did not expect to hear when they were telling him a story about their life back on Virinat. But then he remembered that Vinaek had to endure life of abuse up until they reached late teenagehood.

“Huh”, was all he could say.

“Where are we going?” Vinaek asked, and Xarvar welcomed the change of topic.

“There’s this restaurant that, according to my second-in-command, has non-replicated selection on their menu”, he answered. “Not sure about you, but I’ve been dying for non-replicated food for awhile.”

“That would be a nice change. I miss non-replicated food”, Vinaek returned with a small smile. “Wait, you consulted with your second-in-command about— about our date?”

A date — that was what it was, right? Xarvar felt giddy just thinking about the fact that he was currently on a date with his (new) partner.

“She knows about San Fransisco more than I”, he answered. “I was… Well, you could say that I was too focused on my study, during my years in the Academy. I never got out  _ at all _ , unlike her.”

“Oh”, Vinaek said. “Tell me about your Academy years.”

Xarvar did. He told them about how he got into the Academy in the first place, how he passed the tests with flying colors. How he double-tracked in science and command, because he wanted to prove himself. About the experiments he did even back when he was still in the Academy. About the friendship he found in Elisa Flores, a fellow classmate who soon became his second-in-command.

He was just finished telling Vinaek about the shenanigans on Christmas 2404 when they entered the restaurant. The warmth inside the restaurant was a welcomed change. A waiter guided them to one booth, before leaving them to decide what to order. Vinaek took off their scarf and coat, and put them at the back of their seat, before settling down. Xarvar did the same and took the seat across from them.

“They don’t have Romulan food on the menu, I’m afraid”, Xarvar said after he skimmed the menu. “But Flores told me that their pasta is quite something else.”

“What is… pasta?” Vinaek asked.

“It’s a… type of food made from flour, I think. I’m not quite clear on the details, but I ate it a few times on the Jelavax”, Xarvar answered. “Here, I’ll order a… spaghetti marinara. You can try it too, if you want.”

“They don’t have mollusks on the menu”, Vinaek said.

“Pretty sure Humans don’t eat those”, Xarvar returned. “Except the squids and octopuses. Why don’t you try the seafood?”

“Sea… food…?” Vinaek blinked confusedly.

“You don’t have seafood on Virinat?” Xarvar asked back. Oh, this would be so hilarious if it wasn’t so intriguing.

“I heard from the other, older colonists… Our sea creatures were gigantic and dangerous”, Vinaek answered. “And poisonous. We left them alone.”

“What did you eat, usually?” Xarvar asked, fascinated.

“Snails and bugs, mostly. Meat too, on special occasions”, Vinaek answered. “Some of the colonists brought  _ hlai  _ and  _ travit  _ from homeworld. They are rare, however, and we only butcher one every  _ Eitreih'hveinn _ .”

“ _ Eitreih'hveinn _ ?” Xarvar asked.

“Farmer’s Festival”, Vinaek answered. “It’s a day to honor domestic produce. On that day, we only eat priest-sanctioned food.”

“Huh. Fascinating”, Xarvar hummed. Before meeting Vinaek, he’d never heard about Romulan culture, about their daily life beyond the Tal Shiar and the military.

“How about you? Vinaek asked back. “What do your people eat?”

“Well… Seafood is our main food source”, Xarvar answered. “Our sea creatures were gigantic and dangerous too, but we hunt them down — otherwise, we’ll starve. Every hunting season, the clan sends our best hunters to kill one. Its meat can feed the whole clan through the winter.”

“What happens if the hunters can’t kill one before the winter?” Vinaek asked.

“Well, before the Unification, and before we became part of the Federation, the whole clan would perish from starvation”, Xarvar answered. “Now, we can ask aid from neighboring clans or the Federation.”

“Huh…” was all Vinaek said.

Their conversation was cut short when a Human waitress approached them.

“You guys ready to order?” she asked. “Also, I’m obligated to tell you that we’re having Valentine’s Day Discount for everyone.”

Xarvar blinked in confusion, but Vinaek beat him to it. 

“What is Valentine’s Day?” they asked.

“Oh… right”, the waitress eyed them both. “Since you two are Bolian and Vulcan—”

“Nibellan and Romulan, actually”, Xarvar corrected her calmly.

“R-right”, the waitress stuttered. “Sorry, I’m kinda new at this. Right. So, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. Romantic, platonic, familial, all that stuff. It’s all about love you share with other people. Pretty cheesy, actually.”

It took Xarvar a moment before everything fell into place.

“Did you arrange this shore leave to fall on this Valentine’s Day just so you can take me out on a romantic date?” Vinaek asked, beating him to it. A teasing smile spread on his face. “Why, I didn’t know you’re quite a romantic, Captain Tervatex.”

“No! It was—” Xarvar sighed, defeated. “Flores, she suggested this date, but I had no idea what day it was and what it meant to the Humans, that scheming little—”

“Well, if you guys need more time to order—” the waitress interrupted awkwardly. She seemed eager to get away, it looked like.

“No, no. We’re ready to order now”, Xarvar told her. “One spaghetti marinara and a pitcher of lychee tea, please? How about you, Vinaek?”

“I think I’ll try the… I— I don’t know how to read it, but it’s this one”, Vinaek showed a holopicture to the waitress.

“Oh, the cioppino”, the waitress told Vinaek, before writing down their order. “So one spaghetti marinara, one cioppino, and a pitcher of lychee tea. Is that all?”

“Yes, thank you very much”, Xarvar gave the waitress a diplomatic smile, before handing the menu to her. Vinaek did the same, and she left them to their own device.

“I just realized”, Xarvar said as he turned his attention back to Vinaek. “Your English is impeccable, for someone who never expected to see other species.”

“Eng… lish…?” Vinaek stared at Xarvar in confusion. “Oh, you mean the— the Human language?”

“Humans actually have thousands of language, and English language is— It’s not actually the most spoken language, but it is their international language”, Xarvar explained. 

“Huh…” Vinaek hummed. “The Maiori said it would be beneficial if I learn Human language. The Federation’s reach is vast, and lots of them would be speaking Human.”

“That is correct”, Xarvar returned.

“But if it’s not their most spoken language, then, what is?” Vinaek asked, their eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“It is actually Chinese Mandarin. I learned it in the Academy because I thought it would be beneficial”, Xarvar answered. “And well, guess what — on my first year captaining the Jelavax, I met with a group of Chinese traders stranded in an asteroid close to the Azure Nebula, and none of them spoke English.”

“Wow”, Vinaek breathed in awe. “How many language do you speak?”

“Hmm, let’s see. Aside from Nibellan, I also speak English, Mandarin, Vulcan, Andorian, and a bit of Bajoran and Deferan”, Xarvar answered.

“You spoke Romulan too, when—” Vinaek paused, as if hesitating. “ — when we were captured together.”

“Really?” Xarvar tilted his head.

“You were rather out of it”, Vinaek answered with a small shrug. “You don’t remember? You didn’t speak much, quickly switching to English.”

“Well, my Romulan is quite rusty”, Xarvar said.

“I can teach you”, Vinaek returned. “If you want.”

“That would be wonderful”, Xarvar said, smiling.


	14. Chapter 14

“No”, Xarvar said with finality. “I will not take a civilian with me on such a high-stake mission.”

The mission was supposed to be simple: go to Brea System and deal with Hakeev and the Tal Shiar. However, the Jelavax was just finished doing patrol on Cirini Prime System when they got their order — and thanks to the status of the mission, they had no time to go to the nearest starbase to fetch a specialist required for it.

“Captain, please be logical”, his Chief Engineer, Meqasa, said, pleading. “To get around the Tal Shiar defenses, we need someone who is familiar with Romulan technology who is  _ also _ an engineer. There’s only one person on this ship who fulfills those requirements.”

“I’d rather wait until the Federation sends us a Romulan tech specialist than putting a civilian in the middle of literal warzone, Commander, and that is final”, Xarvar argued, arms crossing.

“If we waste time by waiting, we will risk Hakeev opening the Iconian gateway”, Artana’Zuma returned. “Who knows what’s going to happen next. The entire quadrant could be in danger. Is that a risk you are willing to take, Captain?”

Xarvar shook his head and placed his hand on his forehead, sighing. He couldn’t do this— He couldn’t—

“This is against Starfleet regulation—” Xarvar began, but he knew that his argument was weak.

“Why don’t we ask Vinaek, Captain?” Flores offered. “If we ask them and they agree to help—”

“If we ask them and they know the stake, it will be their burden, Commander”, Xarvar shot back. “I cannot put that burden on them, not after I promised them safety.”

“You are predisposed—” Flores said.

“Predisposed? Of course I am!” Xarvar interrupted her again. “They’re my partner, yes, and I want them safe above all things. But we need to remember that they’re a civilian too. A civilian with no combat training who doesn’t even know how to shoot a God damn gun!”

The bridge was silent for a moment, only be filled with the steady hum of the Jelavax and the beeps coming from the consoles.

“I’m not pitting them against the Tal Shiar, not if I could help it”, Xarvar continued and he couldn’t help baring his teeth for a moment.

“What if… I want to?” a voice came from behind him, and Xarvar whipped his head around to face Vinaek, who was standing by the turbolift door.

“I… called them to the bridge. Before the meeting started”, Meqasa admitted, looking guilty.

Xarvar let out a snarl. “Security—”

“Captain,  _ please _ ”, Vinaek pleaded, and they approached him uncertainly, raising their hands in surrendering gesture. “If I can help in any way—”

“You’re a civilian—”

“I  _ want  _ to!” Vinaek cried out. “Please. I want to help. The Tal Shiar killed my father and destroyed my home, and I ran. I ran away from them, and, I’m  _ done _ running.”

“Vinaek…” Xarvar begged.

“Let me help you  _ end  _ them”, Vinaek said, their voice full of determination.

Xarvar sighed, before turning to Meqasa. “Commander, you went against my command and believe me, there will be punishment waiting for you once this all is over, but right now…” he paused. “Right now, we need your expertise. So get back to work!”

“Yes, Sir”, Meqasa replied, chastised, before heading towards the turbolift.

“Vinaek, go to the quartermaster and prepare yourself for away mission, then wait for me on the transporter room”, Xarvar said, before addressing the whole bridge crew. “And all of you, back to your posts. We have orbital defenses to disable.”

—

Disabling the orbital defenses were hard, but not impossible. Once it was done, Xarvar rushed to the transporter room where Vinaek, Artana’Zuma, Yageggi, and a group of security officers were already waiting for him.

“Energize”, Xarvar ordered, once he had his phaser out and set for stun.

They beamed down—

— and Xarvar found himself standing in a clearing, surrounded by Tal Shiar forces.

“ _ Valma balas _ ”, Xarvar managed to cuss out, before he shot the surprised Tal Shiar members on the chest. They all went down in three seconds flat, and he took a cover behind a wall in case the next wave arrived.

“Jelavax, where the hell is the other away team?!” Xarvar shouted.

“Sir, the Romulans are trying to jam transporters”, Flores’ voice came through the comm. “The rest of the away team are reporting in from different locations, but Vinaek is on a plaza southeast to your position.”

“Great”, Xarvar muttered, before rushing towards the location Flores told him about, his phaser ready. Once he arrived on the plaza, he found Vinaek huddling close to a wall while Tal Shiar forces and Reman forces exchanged fire.

Xarvar shot the unaware Tal Shiar members on their back — not caring a bit about how dishonorable his action. He already showed himself to be without honor when he brought a civilian along in this mission.

“Stop!” Xarvar called out to the Reman forces who was about to close in on Vinaek. “They’re with me. We’re here to assist you. Where is Obisek?”

“On a plaza battling Hakeev’s forces, northwest from here”, one of the Reman answered. “The Romulans are using force fields and construction supplies to choke off access points. We cannot get to them unless we disable those force fields.”

“Vinaek, can you do something about those force fields?” Xarvar asked.

“I may have to see one first before I can give you an answer”, Vinaek replied.

“Alright, then. Let’s move”, Xarvar ordered, and together, the two of them and the Reman soldiers began to move to the next block. They met the first force field, and Vinaek assessed the device.

“Nothing much to do about this. It doesn’t seem to be protected by anything, so you can destroy it with your gun”, Vinaek told them.

“Alright then, back away”, Xarvar warned Vinaek and the Remans, before aiming a quick shot to the force field device. It exploded in a satisfying blast, and the force field fizzled out of existence.

They met with more Tal Shiar soldiers as they moved, and, working together as a team, Xarvar and the Remans cleared up the path while Vinaek trailed behind them.

“Sir, the Jelavax is in synchronous orbit. We can provide fire support if you supply us with target coordinates”, Flores’ voice cracked through the comm.

“Copy that. Sending you the coordinate now”, Xarvar returned. 

The Jelavax managed to destroy three Scorpion fighters before Hakeev’s warbirds appeared — and then the communication with Jelavax was cut off due to the distance between them.

After destroying another force field device, they met with Obisek, who was attempting to clear out the plaza. However, it was clear that he was outnumbered, and his attention was torn between shooting the incoming Tal Shiar goons and protecting his wounded subordinates.

When Xarvar and the Remans who were following him joined the fight, they manage to turn back the tide. The Tal Shiar were overwhelmed by their combined forces. But then—

“Sir— we are evacuating the ship—” Flores’ voice came through. “Not— last— long—”

“Commander, you’re breaking up”, Xarvar called out to his second-in-command. What did she mean with evacuating the ship?

But then a large explosion lit up the sky, and Xarvar briefly recognized Jelavax’ saucer before it too blew up into thousand little pieces.

“No”, he whispered to the sky. “No, no,  _ no _ .”

“Tervatex, watch out!” Obisek cried out, before jumping to shield him from an explosion on the ground. Xarvar was thrown back from the blast and his ears were ringing as he tried to gather himself up.

The Jelavax was destroyed, his mind supplied dimly, and they were losing.

More and more Tal Shiar soldiers poured into the plaza, and someone was pulling Xarvar away from the firing range.

“Captain! Get up!” he heard Vinaek’s voice shouting at him, frantic. “Get up! Please!”

Xarvar blinked, and everything seemed to clear up.

With a grunt, he crawled over to Obisek and noticed a shrapnel impaling his abdomen. Green blood flowed out of the wound sluggishly.

“Oh no”, he whispered, but there was no time for a triage when the Tal Shiar were closing in on them.

Without thinking twice, he hauled Obisek over his shoulders, before ordering Vinaek and the remaining Remans away from the plaza. They tried to thin out the Tal Shiar forces as Xarvar broke into one of the houses. It was empty, but it was a good shelter from the battle still raging outside.

Gently, Xarvar laid down Obisek on a couch, before leaning back against the wall with a sigh. 

They were losing, badly. They were outnumbered, outgunned, and outmatched. The Tal Shiar had the upper hand here, and Xarvar couldn’t see the way they could come out winning.

And he lost the Jelavax. His ship. His crew. Would his crew be alright?

“ _ E’lev _ ”, Vinaek said as they sat next to him. “Talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about?” Xarvar returned with a sigh. “We are losing. There’s nothing else we can do. We have no ship, no backup. And my luck…” Another sigh. “Seems like it’s finally running out.”

“You know I don’t believe in luck”, Vinaek said, frowning.

“So you’ve said.”

“No, listen to me, Xarvar—” Vinaek grabbed his hand and held it tightly. “I don’t believe in luck, so I believe—” They sighed and shook their head. “I believe, that everything you did, everything you’ve accomplished, it’s all on you.”

“Pretty sure my crew had a part in it too”, Xarvar returned.

“You’re still their captain. Their capability reflects on your leadership skill”, Vinaek said with a shrug. “You are the most incredible, the most talented person I’ve ever encountered, and right now, we need that big brain of yours to get us all out of this situation.”

It all sounded too fantastic to be true. After all, who was he without his luck?

Who was he, really?

A Starfleet captain, a science officer, a diplomat — it seemed that none of it would help them in this situation.

Except…

“We need to get Obisek back on his feet”, Xarvar said. “And then we’ll stop Hakeev.”

“Do you have a plan?” Vinaek asked.

  
“No”, Xarvar admitted. “But I’ll make Hakeev pay for what he did to  _ my _ ship.”


	15. Chapter 15

They ransacked the house and found a portable regenerator and a few disruptors scattered throughout the house. Once they gathered the equipments, Xarvar began to assess the damage on Obisek’s torso. The shrapnel pierced deep, but it didn’t seem it hit any vital organ, according to his tricorder.

He cleaned the wound first, before pulling the shrapnel out. Once it was out of the way, he quickly closed the wound with the regenerator. The whole thing aws over in five minutes, and Obisek, now fully conscious, assessed his torso with apparent morbid interest.

“You saved my life”, Obisek said.

“You saved mine first”, Xarvar returned. “I’m just returning the favor.”

Obisek slowly stood up with a grunt, before taking his own disruptor. His Reman subordinates approached him, and he reassured them with a nod of his head.

“What’s your plan?” Obisek asked to Xarvar.

“Hit them fast, and hit them hard”, Xarvar answered, tossing his own phaser aside before taking one of the disruptors, testing its weight in his hands.

“So, no plan”, Obisek said plainly. “We have no tactical advantage, no backup, nothing.”

“That is correct”, Xarvar returned. “But if we don’t stop Hakeev here, the entire quadrant will be at risk.”

“Joy”, Obisek said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

They got out of the house and assembled with a group of Reman resistance still fighting the Tal Shiar. They defeated them, and that was when they met with Artana’Zuma and the rest of the security team.

“Good to see you, Captain”, the Jem’Hadar said as he crushed the skull of a Tal Shiar soldier with his bare hands. “The Jelavax was—”

“Destroyed, I know”, Xarvar returned, before shooting at a Tal Shiar soldier — a subcommander, according to her uniform.

“Well, there goes my record collection”, Artana’Zuma said, and Xarvar couldn’t tell if the Jem’Hadar was serious or not. “I heard from my team that Hakeev is on a promenade southwest to our location. There’s a weather controller console on top of one of the buildings that we can remodulate to our advantage.”

“Take Vinaek there, I’ll deal with Hakeev”, Xarvar told Artana’Zuma.

“Sir?” Artana’Zuma asked, confused.

“We’ll need every advantage we can get. Now go”, Xarvar said. “And bring them back safe,  _ please _ .”

“Captain—” Vinaek paused, hesitating. Their face was smudged with soot and dust, and Xarvar did his best to wipe it away.

“Go with Artana’Zuma”, Xarvar told them. “We’ll meet once this all is over.”

Vinaek nodded, quiet but determined. They followed Artana’Zuma as the Jem’Hadar charged forward, throwing Tal Shiar goons off of the ladder as the two of them climbed up to the rooftop. Xarvar watched them go, before heading southwest with the Remans.

He disabled the force field that prevented them from going south. Meanwhile, the Remans defeated the incoming Tal Shiar soldiers and Obisek swiped an access chip from one of the subcommanders.

“Might need this”, Obisek said, throwing the access chip to Xarvar’s direction, who caught it.

Finally, they reached the plaza where Hakeev and his goons were fighting a bunch of Reman resistance members. The Remans were getting overwhelmed, but not for long as Xarvar and Obisek joined on in the fight.

“Watch out for his thalaron mines!” Obisek told Xarvar, and Xarvar nodded, mindful of his steps. He managed to defeat Hakeev’s Tal Shiar goons, but they kept pouring in into the plaza.

“A lowly being such as yourself cannot even recognize the true power the Iconians represent — and that any future will depend on a place in their regime”, Hakeev spat out. “As the Borg would state, ‘resistance… is futile.’ I can call as many reenforcements as I need.”

“Not anymore. My ship has placed an interference field around this plaza. It's over”, Obisek countered.

They fought until every single Tal Shiar soldier was down and every single Scorpion fighter was falling from the sky. It seemed that whatever Vinaek had done had rendered the Scorpion fighters useless. 

Then, Obisek, in an anticlimactic moment, shot Hakeev on the head.

Xarvar took Hakeev’s PADD, before working to decrypt it. The layers of encryption on it was insane, it was as if Hakeev was in a constant state of paranoia that someone might break into his PADD. Well, he was right, of course, but Xarvar wouldn’t let a dead man preventing him from accessing the PADD.

“The road to Reman independence will be long and bloody, but this is a significant step”, Obisek said, turning to face Xarvar.

Xarvar eyed Hakeev’s dead body — so still and insignificant as the battle raged all around them — and thought, what an end to a man acting so high and mighty.

“I’m just glad this all is over”, Xarvar returned, finally facing Obisek.

“You have my respect, and the respect of my crew. If in the future we encounter one another again as allies, I would find this… gratifying”, Obisek said. “I must return to the Zdenia. I recommend you finish what you came to do, and leave quickly.”

“Thanks for your help”, Xarvar nodded at Obisek, before the Remans beamed out of the plaza.

That was when his comm whistled.

“Tervatex here”, Xarvar answered.

“This is Captain Va’Kel Shon of the U.S.S. Enterprise”, the voice of Captain Shon came through the comm. “Heard you’re quite in a pinch there, Tervatex. You’re lucky I’m in the area — but luck is kind of your thing, isn’t it? By the way, I fished your crew out of the water, so like, you owe me a drink. Or ten.”

“Shon, you son of a—” Xarvar laughed, feeling like a heavy weight was lifted off of his chest. His crew was safe, they were with the Enterprise, and they could assist him with the clean up.

“You ready to beam up now?” Shon asked through the comm.

“Wait, I need to destroy the Iconian gate first”, Xarvar said, before something caught his eyes. It was the odd shape of the structure on the plaza, and it took him five full seconds before he realized what the structure was. “Actually, make that Iconian gates. I’ll call you back. Tervatex out.”

Once he was done decrypting Hakeev’s PADD, he got the access to the lab, which was located eastward from the plaza. Xarvar entered it, only to find an active Iconian gateway inside.

“Enterprise, can you spare me a spatial charge? Got an active Iconian gateway I need to disable here”, Xarvar told Shon.

In a minute or so, a set of spatial charge was beamed in front of him. He set it up, before leaving the room. Once he was in a safe distance, the building exploded in a much satisfying boom.

“Need anything else, Tervatex?” Shon asked.

“Actually, yes. Can you launch an orbital bombardment to my location?” Xarvar asked back.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Shon cried out.

“No, actually. The Tal Shiar got a huge Iconian gateway and I don’t think mere spatial charge is enough to destroy this one”, Xarvar told Shon.

Shon was quiet for a bit before he answered, “You better get out of range before we launch the bombardment, Tervatex. Let me know when you did.”

“Copy that”, Xarvar returned.

And just like that, it was done and over with. Xarvar hid one block over and the Enterprise absolutely went to town with the large Iconian gateway. Once the dusts settled, Xarvar went to check the ruins that laid before his eyes.

“Xarvar!” a voice called out to him, and Xarvar saw Vinaek racing towards him. A bright smile like he had never seen before spread on their face, and the two of them collided into an embrace.

It was done. It was over.

— 

Xarvar and the entire Jelavax crew hitched a ride on the Enterprise to Earth Spacedock, where the Admiralty had been waiting for them. They wanted to hear from Xarvar firsthand about what became of the Tal Shiar — and especially, the Iconian gates on Brea III.

A ceremony was held the next day, and Xarvar still felt like he was dead on his feet when he received his promotion to Rear Admiral and his new ship, U.S.S. Torevax. The rest of the Jelavax crew too received commendations for what they’d done on Brea III — even Vinaek received a honorary commendation for their participation in the whole thing.

After the ceremony, they all headed towards the club, where they celebrated for a mission well done. Xarvar had to go through his crew congratulating him for his promotion, before he could find an empty spot by the window. Of course, he was not surprised to find Vinaek already occupying one of the seats there.

“Room for one more?” Xarvar asked, and Vinaek scooted away slightly to give space for him to sit down.

“That looks good on you”, Vinaek said, eyeing the new stripe on Xarvar’s chest.

Xarvar let out a chuckle. “It won’t happen without you”, he said. “Without your encouragement. So… thank you. For believing in me. For believing in my ability.”

The tip of Vinaek’s ears became dark green.

“You know, it’s funny”, Vinaek said all of a sudden. “Despite everything, I think you almost make me believe in luck.”

Xarvar eyed them, but only found honesty in their eyes. They licked their lips, and he felt warmth spreading in his chest.

“Want to come to my room?” he asked, feeling a little bit brave. He gently brushed their cheek with his thumb. “We can… discuss, about it further.”

“Discuss… Sure”, Vinaek let out a quiet snort, but otherwise, they didn’t object when Xarvar pulled him away from their seat.

—

Night had fallen on the Earth Spacedock, and Xarvar laid on his bed, his hands over his chest. Next to him, Vinaek was tracing their fingers over the myriad of scars on his body, as if trying to chart a map of him. It was… surprisingly intimate, despite everything that they just had done together.

“What about this one?” they asked, touching a darkening gash on his right shoulder.

“Nimbus III, Gorn captain”, Xarvar answered. “Bitey bastard. He didn’t even let go when Flores stunned him.”

“Ouch”, Vinaek returned with a wince, before moving their fingers down to his elbow. “And this one?”

“Ushaan on Andoria”, Xarvar said. “I was young and dumb, and another young and dumb Andorian challenged me. He slipped and fell down a ravine after delivering his first slash. He survived the fall.”

“The stories your scars tell”, Vinaek returned, amused.

“Do they entertain you?” Xarvar asked.

“Probably”, Vinaek answered, teasing. Xarvar leaned over and placed a quick head bump on their forehead.

“I was…” Vinaek paused, hesitating. “I met with a Romulan Republic leader today — D’Tan, was his name? He asked me if I want to help with the rebuilding effort on New Romulus.”

“I know”, Xarvar told them.

“You— you knew?” Vinaek blinked.

“I…” Xarvar bit his bottom lip for a bit, before he could continue. “I chose to go to New Romulus as the Federation’s representative. So yes, I knew about your recruitment. From D’Tan himself, actually.”

“You’re kidding”, Vinaek gasped, shifting on the bed until they could see him in the eye. “You’re not kidding. You… you’re giving up the stars?”

“I gave it a thought, and it… just feels right”, Xarvar said with a shrug.

“You said the stars is where you belong”, Vinaek returned, disbelief in their voice.

“No, I said Starfleet is where I belong”, Xarvar corrected them, before cupping their face with his hand. It fit perfectly. “I’m still Starfleet. And this way, I can be with you.”

Silence hung between them, as Vinaek still stared at him. Xarvar resisted the urge to fidget under their gaze

“Are you… not happy, with my decision?” Xarvar asked.

Vinaek’s eyes fluttered shut. “No, I—” they sighed. “I’m just surprised, is all. In fact, I’m very, very happy.”

“Good”, Xarvar said with a smile, gently bumping his forehead to theirs. 

“Where will you be staying on New Romulus?” Vinaek asked.

“The embassy, probably”, Xarvar answered. “You?”

Vinaek fidgeted.

“Vinaek?” Xarvar pushed.

“I… might have told D’Tan that I want to build a house”, Vinaek said, looking away. “For— for us. He told me he’ll arrange it.”

“A house”, Xarvar repeated. “For us?”

Vinaek nodded. “ It will be beautiful, overlooking a river or— or a sea, with flowerbeds on the front.”

“That does sound beautiful”, Xarvar mused.

“I— I wanted it to be your home, whenever you decide to visit”, Vinaek admitted. “But since you’ll be staying on New Romulus…”

“I’d love to”, Xarvar told them. “I’d love to live with you. Together.” 

“Together”, Vinaek agreed.


	16. Chapter 16

The twin suns were shining weakly as the cool breeze blew from Vastam Peaks, and Xarvar leaned his back on the cliffside as he examined the house across the Atlai river.

One year had passed since he accepted his station on New Romulus — or Mol Rihan, as the locals called it. It was a planet in Dewa System (now called New Romulus System), the third one from its suns, with various dangerous animals inhabiting it. Yet, the Romulans, ever persistent and stubborn, somehow managed to conquer it and made it into their new home.

Sure, the year was not without trials and hardships. Elachi ships still came to wreak havoc every now and then, the Hirogens and the Tholians still lurked in the mountains, and the threat of the Iconians was still looming in the horizon. But the Romulans persisted.

“Is it just me, or the house is leaning a little bit to the left?” Xarvar commented before taking a bite of his meatroll. 

They were currently having a picnic across the river, with homemade food they brought from their new home. The house was finished just two days ago, and they were just beginning to fill it with furnitures. It wasn’t much, but it was theirs.

“Is it?” Vinaek asked back, and Xarvar could see their eyes squinting. “Hm, maybe just an optical illusion.”

Xarvar choked a little bit on his meatroll, before swallowing. “Optical illusion? Really?” he teased.

“ _ E’lev _ , I built the house with my own hands. You’d think I’d realize if it’s leaning a little bit to the left”, Vinaek said with a chuckle.

“That’s so unfair”, Xarvar pouted. “Using term of endearment in an argument is so unfair.”

“You’re just mad because I out-logic you”, Vinaek said, taking a sip of his  _ kali-fal _ . Silence fell between them, before they broke it. “The house needs a few decorations, don’t you think?”

“We can put  _ kilin _ on the door”, Xarvar suggested, and at Vinaek’s blank look, he elaborated. “Stained glass decorations? If the wind blows at them, they’ll make ‘ _ kilin-kilin _ ’ noise.”

“There are still so much I don’t know about your culture”, Vinaek said with a huff. “We can grow some vines to climb up the trellises too.”

“Flowering vines, perhaps? Otherwise, it’ll be a bit boring”, Xarvar countered. “And we can go to Nibellum if you want.”

“You mean it?” Vinaek asked, shifting so they could see him in the eye.

“Sure, why not”, Xarvar answered with a shrug. “My clan will be happy to see me again.”

Their picnic was cut short when rainclouds came from Vastam Peaks and the rain began to pour down heavily. They crossed the shallow stream and entered the house, soaking wet but laughing.

“We need a bridge, I think”, Xarvar suggested.

“Yeah, no shit”, Vinaek returned as they took off their wet socks, before throwing them into the laundry basket along with the rest of their clothes. 

Xarvar wrapped a bathrobe around himself and padded to the kitchenette where their food replicator sat. “Two cups of  _ tarka _ , hot.”

“You mean it? We can go to Nibellum?” Vinaek asked as they came out of the bathroom, also wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe.

“We haven’t taken a vacation since we started living here, so, I don’t see why not?” Xarvar answered. Vinaek fidgeted with the hem of their robe, and Xarvar knew them enough by now to see through their hesitation. “What’s wrong?”

“What if your clan won’t accept me?” Vinaek asked. “According to your people’s standard, I must be having the worst of luck.”

“They won’t do that”, Xarvar answered. “You are a bright and intelligent person I have ever had the fortune to meet with and I won’t have that any other way. Well, except for the way we both met, undoubtedly.”

Vinaek still looked a bit down, so Xarvar lifted their chin with his thumb. “And besides, your luck is not that bad. You met me, after all.”

That made Vinaek smile.

“So.  _ Tarka _ ?” Xarvar offered a cup for them, which they accepted. Then, the two of them settled on the cranny with a window overlooking the garden, where they could see  _ nanov  _ plopping out of the river in the rain.

“We should probably build a fence so those  _ nanov  _ won’t destroy your garden”, Vinaek mused out loud.

“I thought they only eat  _ vihranen _ ”, Xarvar returned, scrunching his nose at the memory of the horrible little bugs. The first day he arrived on Mol Rihan, he was attacked by a swarm of them. It was  _ terrible _ .

“ _ Vihranen _ , fishes, plants. Everything they can get their arms on, I think”, Vinaek said. “Heard from the scientists along the river the other day. Resilient little ones, those  _ nanov  _ are.”

“Hmm”, Xarvar hummed noncommittally.

“You can say it, I won’t be offended”, Vinaek said, turning away from the window towards him.

“It’s undiplomatic”, Xarvar argued. “And extremely rude, to compare one species to an animal.”

“And you are ever a diplomat, correct, Admiral Tervatex?” Vinaek teased, before leaning in on his shoulder.

The two of them watched as rain poured down heavily, so much that they couldn’t see what was across the river. Occasionally, Xarvar sipped on his  _ tarka _ , enjoying its warmth as it spread in his chest.

“You know, when I was little, I never imagined I would grow up to be a diplomat”, Xarvar mused. “I thought it was a boring job, but now, I enjoy the intricacies of interstellar politics.”

“What did you want to be, when you were little?” Vinaek asked.

“For awhile? A firefighter”, Xarvar admitted, chuckling. “I saw a holovid about them once and I thought they were the coolest, pun not intended.”

“That’s so adorable” Vinaek cooed. “The Nibellans don’t have firefighters, then?”

“We live in houses made out of eternal ice and surrounded by permafrost”, Xarvar explained. “Fire is never a problem for us.”

“Alright, I can see how that would go”, Vinaek said, laughing. “I can’t wait to see it, your home.”

“And I can’t wait to show you around”, Xarvar returned.

“Can you tell me more?” Vinaek asked.

Xarvar did — he told them about his clan-hall, about the clan archive where he spent most of his childhood in, about the hill behind the food repository where he would climb with his friends. Vinaek listened raptly, not interrupting him once.

The rain still poured on outside, but sheltered by the house that they built together, they were warm and safe.


End file.
